In France, almost one marriage in two ends in divorce. Several reasons can lead couples to separate and here is a list of 7 things that harm romantic relationships.
Making a successful marriage is no easy feat. While 45% of marriages end in divorce in France, the unconditional love of couples seems more a fantasy than a reality. And for a romantic relationship to be fulfilling and lasting, it requires time, effort, compromises but also a certain romantic compatibility.
Ingredients which are not always easy to bring together but above all to preserve over time. Here is seven of the most common reasons of the failure of a marriage or relationship.
1. Avoid conflict
In a relationship, it is very important to feel comfortable expressing your feelings, needs and desires. But sometimes some people fear conflict and therefore avoid broaching certain topics of conversation. Connie Omari, doctor of philosophy, explains that “Conflict avoidance is a silent relationship killer because it prevents conflict from being addressed.”
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Instead, couples bury their feelings until they lead to feelings of resentment. “Failing to learn these skills is a sure way to silently kill your relationship,” she concludes.
2. Not taking your partner’s emotions into account
Another problem causing a high divorce rate is the inability of couples to accept or respect their partner’s feelings. Connie Omari explains that saying something as simple as “it’s not cold” when your partner says they’re cold can unintentionally be offensive or disregard the other person.
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“When a person feels invalidated, they often feel disconnected and unheard,” she explains. “These two characteristics combined will certainly contribute to the rapid deterioration of a relationship.”
3. Infidelity
It is well known that infidelity is common in relationships. And there are many reasons why someone might be unfaithful. Including a feeling of not being loved, not being heard or being invalidated. But infidelity can also be motivated by low self-esteem or depression.
4. The feeling of not being appreciated
One of the common reasons that leads to divorce is the feeling of one of the two partners of not being really appreciated by their spouse. This feeling can occur after seemingly harmless behaviors that have more impact than we think. For example, when one member of the couple accomplishes something difficult and the other does not praise them but criticizes them for another reason.
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For example, your partner has had a very busy day at work and may have forgotten to do some household chores. And instead of congratulating him for completing his work and sympathizing with his difficulties, we may tend to point out his mistake. However, these moments are opportunities to remind your spouse or partner how much you appreciate their efforts.
5. Confusion in everyone’s responsibilities
Another problem that causes divorces is confusion over the division of household chores. Indeed, it is important that both parties openly discuss their expectations and agree on how chores and tasks will be shared or divided.
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When couples disagree or one person doesn’t do their part, the other may become resentful and feel like they’re contributing more than their partner.
6. Getting married too young
If experiencing young love is fortunate, these relationships unfortunately have little chance of succeeding over time. In fact, many couples divorce because they were too young to know exactly what they wanted from life.
We take time to really get to know each other and we also change a lot over time. And when we are not moving in the same direction as our partner, we inevitably drift apart, which thus leads to separation.
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7. Have different plans
As mentioned earlier, people change a lot between adolescence and adulthood, and even into their 30s. During this period, life plans can change considerably as can interests.
However, it is important to have similar points of view, values or objectives to strengthen the relationship and ensure that both parties are moving in the same direction.
Passionate about women’s news, Agathe has been deciphering the latest trends for aufeminin since 2022. Her favorite areas? Psychology, nutrition and well-being advice, without forgetting the tips…