A study by Polish researchers has shown that there are more people regretting having a child than one might think, but what are the reasons for these regrets?
For several years, many studies have been carried out across the world, trying to determine and understand as much as possible who are the parents who, if it had to be done again, would refrain from having offspring.
This summer in Poland, a study published in the magazine Plos One, revealed new demographic, social and psychological elements after a survey of parents under the age of 40.
For this work, Konrad Piotrowski, researcher at the Institute of Psychology of the SWPS University of Poznań (Poland) studied two representative samples of the Polish population counting 1,175 individuals for the first and 1,280 people for the second, all having at least one child. The first group consisted of parents between the ages of 18 and 40, whose average age of children was 6.5 years.
The second group was younger with parents under 30 whose children were on average 3 years old.
According to the results of the survey, in group n ° 1: 165 people declared that they regretted having had a child, ie around 14%. In group n ° 2: the figures are a little lower, in total 137 people would not become parents if it had to be done again, that is to say approximately 10.7%.
This study raises a subject that is still difficult to tackle. However, this is not the first time that researchers have looked into this taboo societal question.
Indeed, in Germany and the United States, studies have found that 7 to 8% of parents would prefer not to have had children. Lower figures, due to smaller samples but also due to a decisive criterion: in Poland abortion (voluntary termination of pregnancy) is almost prohibited.
Read also: Right to abortion: how to support Polish women? Testimonials
The reasons for regrets
In his study Konrad Piotrowski, argues that regret is more present in people encountering financial difficulties or having a unstable couple relationship.
But these are not the only factors of this increase in number, the quest for perfectionism present in Poland also has a decisive role:
“Parents with a higher level of perfectionism had difficulty forming a stable parental identity, they had more doubts about their suitability for the role of parenting, were characterized by greater confusion about how to parent and, finally, suffered more from parental burn-out “, said the scientist.
An affirmation also mentioned by Marinette Ardouin, the moderator of the Maman Blues forum who explains:
“Between idealized motherhood and reality there is a gap. Some women fall from the heights when they find themselves mothers.” Many mothers regret their former life. Motherhood represents a mourning for their freedom, for the carefree life of their childless life “
Although this subject is still taboo and the fear of judgment still present, thethe best solution is to talk about it.
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