When was the last time you doubted your relationship? Or had a completely unnecessary argument with your sweetheart because you misunderstood each other? Why this doesn’t have to be a reason to despair – and which relationship problems we should normalize.
In every relationship there are ups and downs, times when we are incredibly happy and times that are more challenging. In which there are a lot of conflicts or we are unsure whether the relationship is still right for us. In relationships, especially long ones, not everything is rosy every day. We don’t wake up every morning wanting to shower our sweetheart with love. Sometimes we get annoyed because he’s spread himself out in bed or because we’ve bitched at each other before going to bed.
We often put insane pressure on ourselves to live the perfect life. The perfect job, the perfect apartment – and of course the perfect relationship. Spoiler: Nothing in life is perfect. Even if we have found the (almost) perfect person with whom we want to share our life, they will also have habits or characteristics that hurt us and/or drive us mad. And vice versa, certainly the same. Such difficulties in partnership occur in the best of families – which is why we urgently need to normalize them.
We should normalize these things in our relationships
1. Bad days
As already mentioned at the beginning, there are ups and downs in partnerships. Some days go great, we laugh together and are completely sure that we have found our perfect match. But there are also days – or weeks or even months – when we are just annoyed. Where we are disappointed, annoyed and find the person we actually love really stupid. Days like these are completely normal and occur even in healthy relationships. It only becomes a problem when there are no good days at all between the stupid ones.
2. Doubts
And because there are difficult phases, it can happen that we doubt our relationship. That we are suddenly no longer sure whether we have the right person by our side. Whether their mistakes aren’t absolute deal breakers for us. Doubt is not only perfectly normal, it’s actually healthy for a relationship. It can be helpful to continually question whether the partnership is still good for us or whether we would like to change certain conditions. Ultimately, this is the only way we can grow. And the result of a phase of doubting and questioning can ultimately also be that we are simply grateful for what we have.
3. Communication failure
Even though we probably know the person we share our lives with better than anyone else, it’s completely normal for misunderstandings to arise. That we say things that hurt the other person and that we make small things that they say to us into a big deal. Communication is anything but easy, even in long-term relationships. It is important to be honest with each other and to be able to admit mistakes.
4. Lulls in bed
Keeping lust and passion alive can be a major challenge, especially in long-term relationships. We know this person, with whom we have lived for years and share practically everything, mostly inside and out. It’s anything but easy to suddenly switch to “I want to rip all your clothes off” mode when you’ve just been talking about the broken washing machine. Phases in which little or nothing happens in bed occur in most relationships. It is important that both partners are willing to make an effort to maintain their sex life – as unromantic as that may sound. Because sex changes within a relationship is perfectly normal.
5. Jealousy
Most people have felt jealousy at some point. In relationships, it’s natural to be insecure from time to time or to worry about whether your partner might like your new colleague better than you admit. Ultimately, this also shows that we love the person we are dating and that the partnership is important to us – we don’t want to lose it. Of course, there is also unhealthy jealousy, which is often based on strong fears and ego problems. But feeling every now and then that our treasure is also desired by other people is also healthy in long-term relationships.
Sources used: instagram.com/mentalhealthceo, mindbodygreen.com