Tell mothers & fathers
What no parenting guide will tell you about having children
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Sure, you can prepare for a lot if you are expecting offspring. But by no means everything, as these stories show.
How would Forrest Gump’s mother say? Having children is like a box of chocolates – you never know what you’re going to get. Okay, okay, starting a family isn’t quite as crystal clear as that. Nevertheless, every mother and father will surely know the situation in which they just cannot grasp the world and think: Why didn’t anyone tell me THAT before? Because yes, children are the greatest creatures in the world – but sometimes really strange, right?
The ELTERN colleagues asked users on their Facebook channel which strange moments they had already experienced with their children. Specifically, the question was: What is in no parenting guide because it is far from imagination?
The question originally came from @RanaJeanne’s Twitter account. With the post, the colleagues at ELTERN.de apparently hit a nerve, because more than 1,600 users answered the question and shared their funny, bizarre, but also quite normal experiences as mum or dad. Of course, we don’t want to withhold the explanations from you – at least we’ve put together some great stories from the many, many comments here.
What no parenting guide will tell you
1 of 17
“Bright red nail polish and suspicious silence from the bathroom … = white toilet seat will never be white again … never again!”
2 of 17
“Stepping on Lego bricks is worse than the pain of childbirth.”
3 of 17
“Always turn inside trouser legs that are too long. I repeat: Always turn trouser legs inside out !!! And / or build a sandpit directly, which the child can fill with the sand brought with them …”
4 of 17
“There are endless ways to cut bread the wrong way, and the blue mug isn’t the blue mug when it’s the wrong drink …”
5 of 17
“That moment when you have an appointment at the bank, your child (2) is allowed to move freely in the office, stands next to your adviser behind the desk and almost squats quietly under the table … Your adviser jumps up because your child keeps pressing the button that triggers the silent alarm. “
6 of 17
“The children’s toilet seat is not a crown that then became a ruff. Only after a bottle of oil and a pound of margarine could it be removed again. No, we weren’t allowed to break it.”
7 of 17
“The noodles become inedible as soon as the vegetables touch them. The vegetables also become inedible if they come into contact with the sauce. And meat mustn’t touch anything anyway.”
8 of 17
“Just because the child says you should cut the bread doesn’t mean you should actually cut the bread.”
9 of 17
“When the child discovers buttons in the supermarket and suddenly the refrigerated shelf is switched off.”
10 of 17
“Panty liners (pack of 50) stuck everywhere. I had a surprise visitor … and noticed it with the first sip of coffee when I saw the strange expression on the face of the person opposite …”
11 of 17
“The cashier was busy scanning the goods, I was throwing the incredibly fast-moving stuff into the shopping cart. In the meantime, my daughter discovered the buttons to open a new cash register. End of the story. We heard it so late that meanwhile all cash registers were open and all cash registers were occupied, but there weren’t enough staff for all cash registers. The poor woman then had to serve several cash registers in no time and I came out with a bright red head. “
12 of 17
“It’s not enough to ask if someone wants ketchup. You should also know WHERE to put the ketchup on the plate. Otherwise it will be a very unpleasant evening.”
13 of 17
“My son has wanted adult specialist literature about excavators to be read aloud for 1 year. He will be 4 this month.”
14 of 17
“If your son no longer likes the dog’s coat color, you can change it wonderfully with felt-tip pens!”
15 of 17
“That moment, when you are sitting in a full restaurant and suddenly it echoes from the toilet: CAN I PLEASE WIPE THE PO? (Child, 5, was in the play area and went to the toilet unnoticed).”
16 of 17
“Stones, feathers, chestnuts and sand will be your constant companions. They are everywhere. In your pants, in the washing machine, in the litter box or in shoes.”
17 of 17
“That the child says when they pick it up from daycare: ‘Mom was boring, so I peeled the rhinestones from my leggings and put them in my ear. Three on the left, two on the right.’ The visit to the emergency services of the ENT showed: she can count. “
Do some of these stories sound familiar to you? In any case, we had to grin one time or the other and say “Oh yeah, I know that all too well” with an approving nod. To all parents out there who can’t please their child while cutting bread or who find the strangest things in the washing machine: You are not alone! ❤️
Would you like to continue discussing? Then take a look at it BRIGITTE community. Here you can find other mothers and fathers to exchange ideas about your turbulent everyday family life!