Things we only really understand in a relationship

Conflicts are inevitable
5 things I learned only through a relationship

Relationship: 5 Things I Learned From Her.

© Olesia Bilkei / Adobe Stock

Relationships can be wonderful – and incredibly complicated. One thing is clear: films, series and books hardly prepare you for reality. I only learned these things through a relationship.

A relationship, especially a romantic-sexual one, is always special—or at least it should be. Of course you can also be in a romantic relationship and practically live side by side without really getting involved with the other person. But a deep, true love for one another changes people and at best for the better. As someone who has known this type of relationship mainly from films, series and books, reality has opened my eyes many a time. I was only able to learn the following five things through a relationship.

Misunderstandings are inevitable

Communication is an art – it’s not just a succinct phrase. I am always amazed at how we can come across completely differently to different people through our words, our eyes or our body language. We say one thing, confident that we have made ourselves clear, but the other person gets a completely different message. It can be incredibly frustrating to feel misunderstood. But it is also an opportunity to learn the other person’s language and to find a way of communication together that makes both feel heard, seen and heard.

Compromise is not a weakness

People have different needs – it is more of a coincidence that two individuals overlap in everyday life. So that one person doesn’t constantly get his way and the other gives in, it’s important to find a compromise that both parties can live with. And accepting a compromise does not automatically mean that you cannot stand up for your own needs and that you are “weak”.

Acknowledge your own weaknesses

No man is free from vices and that alone is not a weakness. But not acknowledging that is one. We (hopefully) don’t expect our counterpart to be perfect and infallible – why should our counterpart expect that from us? Especially (but not only) in a love relationship it is helpful to deal openly with your own weaknesses and trigger points – this is the only way the partner can find out about them and act cautiously and sensitively in certain topics/situations in the future.

Some things just have to be accepted

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if your partner was one way or the other? Maybe. But it is not like that. We all have our characteristics. Some of them we can’t stand ourselves, others are extremely important to us and we wouldn’t want to give them up for anyone, because otherwise we run the risk of losing ourselves. It’s the same with our fellow human beings. You may be bothered by one or two qualities of your favorite person, but it’s not that person’s job to always please you, nor is it your job to work on the other person’s qualities because you “mean well.”

Do not expect anything

That’s the thing about expectations: we often keep them to ourselves, thinking that the other person must know us well enough to live up to them. Nobody can read minds and it is up to us to communicate our expectations and wishes. That doesn’t mean that we have a right to have them fulfilled – but at least it gives our fellow human beings the opportunity to respond.

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