“I’m thinking of myself now!”
This is how you get a grip on any narcissist
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Whether at work, at family celebrations or even at home: self-loving egomaniacs can be found everywhere. We have a few tips for dealing with uncomfortable people
by Theresa König
Everyone knows them: These crazy guys who constantly fluctuate between megalomania and, well, megalomania. They like to be admired, adored, put in the center, are pathologically related to themselves. Colloquially, they are also often referred to as narcissists. And they are everywhere. In fact, they often seem very charming at the beginning, are engaging and very entertaining. In the long run, however, such egomaniacs can be super exhausting. That’s why it’s always good to know how to recognize and disarm them.
1. The boss
He’s in love with himself, arrogant, has exaggerated claims and likes to beat others up while he praises himself for hours? Okay, your boss is a narcissist. So you can’t give enough praise and compliments. He’s always happy about that. Narcissists, on the other hand, are usually not good at dealing with criticism, so you don’t have to crawl under the carpet, you can assert yourself calmly and friendly. But pack any “suggestions for improvement” well and dose them in small bites. Best of all in such a way that it is immediately clear that the mistake was definitely just an oversight. It is sometimes difficult, but generally better than open war. You can only lose it because reflection is never the strength of narcissists.
2. The date
Narcissists often expose themselves by always blaming others. Overall, the world is often mean to him, even though he does everything right. Of course, the woman wanted the divorce / separation (why?). But everything will be better with you. Are you the only one who understands him anyway? One should be careful with such extremes, even at the first meeting. It doesn’t matter how handsome, smart or funny the guy is. He shows narcissistic traits. Get out of here quickly! If you’re already in a relationship with an outed narcissist, that’s also true. That won’t change with his promises to change. We are sorry.
3. The girlfriend
It enhances itself by devaluing you. “The skirt looks good on you, it hides your slender legs so nicely. I like to wear short skirts,” is a typical sentence of the narcissistic friend, who is often disapproving. On the other hand, she likes to speak highly of herself about herself. Sometimes she calls in every day and is as sweet as sugar, but mostly to report on herself and her successes. Then again for weeks without an apology not at all. Typical narcissist power games. Addressing this directly does not bring much benefit here, the narcissist does not like criticism (see above). Either hold out and enjoy the good phases when they balance everything else – or make the bend quickly and without much discussion. The narcissist friend will either be very upset and try to win you back – or find the next victim. But at least that’s not you!