This letter, I'm writing to you, Gauthier

LGBTI phobias kill and ruin lives. In this month of Pride, we share with you the letter from Romain Costa to his executioner, a young boy with the eyes of an angel, like him, who nevertheless transformed his education into hell.

No containment for LGBTI phobias. Homophobic and transphobic attacks increased significantly in 2019 and there is no doubt that this scourge continues to grow. The SOS Homophobia association, in its 2020 report, released last May, draws up a distressing assessment. Evidence of anti-LGBT acts increased by 26% in France last year. On the internet, reports have exploded with an increase of 56%. In a society that claims to be and wants to be more and more inclusive, these figures are unacceptable. The association also highlights, LGBTIphobias reported more and more in the school. Homophobic insults, often trivialized, remain particularly strong: 18% of high school or LGBT students declare having been insulted in the last 12 months, reports a study by the FIFG carried out in 2018 for the Jean-Jaurès Foundation and the Interministerial Delegation to the fight against racism, anti-Semitism and anti-LGBT hatred (DILCRAH).

In this month of Pride, the influencer Romain Costa shared his story on social networks, which sadly echoes these unbearable figures. His story is that of a child humiliated, mistreated, forever damaged. May this letter to his executioner alert, upset the parents who will read it and the others. So that no other young LGBTQI boy or girl ever meets a "Gauthier"

"You were blond like me. You had blue eyes like me. You came from a good family like me. You were 12 years old like me.

Except you loved girls. Except that no one insulted you in the playground. Except that you, you surely did not realize all the harm that you did to me by continually calling me "fag". Except that you weren't persecuted.

It’s you, Gauthier, that I see when I close my eyes and think back to everything I’ve endured, child, teenager.

It’s you, Gauthier, that I see when I’m being attacked, insulted, belittled today. It is you and all my life it will be you and your machiavellian angelic face that will remain etched in my mind: maximum punishment, life.

You surely forgot me.

You probably don't remember the insults you threw at me. You have never been worried. We never caught you on what you said. Worse, often, you, the bourgeois kid of the playground, we listened to you, we followed you, we adulated you.

I came home and cried. I wanted to kill myself. I noticed this "abnormality" at all times that you, Gauthier, you kept reminding me. As if my sensitivity was attacking you, in your manhood. As if my 12 years were worth much less than yours.

Do you know how hard it is to wonder if your loved ones will continue to love us when one day we will tell them the name of our other half? Do you realize that at every moment, in the street, I am afraid of meeting a Gauthier, more violent than the one you have been?

Are you aware that your words broke me and that it took me a long time to stop hating myself?

Have you ever realized that you could have killed me and that this fucking homophobia that you were instilled in, you probably kept it and that maybe even you continue to dilute it?

But you, Gauthier, maybe today you can become an ally.

Maybe you, the blond child, like me, with blue eyes, like me, who grew up, matured, like me, you can tell all the Gauthier that it must stop. Let this fight that is not yours, you will take it over and you will make sure that no one wants a 12 year old child to kill himself anymore.

So to you, Gauthier, who I once decided to forgive, I ask you to stand up. I ask you to rebel, to realize that you are privileged. May you, with all the Gauthier, have the power to help us, to support, to educate.

Because the struggle for equality cannot be won only by those who are concerned. It needs to be carried by those who are furthest away from it and by you, Gauthier, the 12 year old boy who I hope has grown into an intelligent adult.

I'm writing this letter to you, Gauthier. To you and to all those who in their life, one day were a Gauthier. "

See this post on Instagram

To celebrate Pride Month, a media outlet asked me to write an open letter on a topic related to the LGBT + struggle. I'm writing this letter to you, Gauthier. To you and to all those who in their lives have once been a Gauthier. I'll let you listen to the rest but it's important to remember that homophobia is present everywhere, in all environments, at all ages, in all cultures. Let homophobia kill. Directly, institutionally in certain places. But it also kills in other ways, and harassment in schools is often taken lightly. The suicide rate among LGBT + youth is much higher than that of the rest of the population of the same age. To stop this homophobia, it is not only our responsibility, we, members of the LGBT + community, to raise awareness, to open our eyes, to educate. This work must be done with the support of allies. Anyone can be. Everyone should be. Go to my other account @_jamesdine_ to give visibility to your kisses, our kisses and follow the resumption of dinners, as soon as we can. (In this photo, I’m a little under 12 years old, but obviously already a taste for drama ? / the piece of music is "experience" by Ludovico Einaudi).

A publication shared by Romain Costa (@romaincosta_) on June 14, 2020 at 11:48 PDT

Romain Costa launched the James Dine movement, an Instagram account to express oneself, testify, find oneself. A space of virtual conviviality but which very quickly became real. For several years now, he has been engaged in actions that are close to his heart around LGBTQA + themes and more particularly around actions led by an association: the Refuge.

The Refuge accompanies and accommodates young gay, lesbian and transidentitarian people who are wandering, allowing them to get out of the disruptive situation in which they find themselves. It is the only structure in France, approved by the State, to offer temporary accommodation and social, medical, psychological and legal support to young adults who are victims of homophobia or transphobia.

"Just like these young people who sometimes do not know where to turn, feel alone, helpless, many of you write to me every day to tell me that you lack support and listening. That you too are afraid, that sometimes you too would need a little courage. So what could be better than getting together to talk about it? Talking about it and having dinner, with friends. "James Dîne", a nod to actor James Dean was born. The idea is to invite five young people from the Refuge and five people from among my subscribers every month to be together, chat, feel less alone, share a moment of conviviality and speak in another way about the community. LGBTQA +. "

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Video by Clara Poudevigne