Asked to share an anecdote about the upbringing she passed on to her children, a mother of five shared her portrayal of virginity. The arguments she puts forward are to be listened to over and over again.
Have you ever wondered what virginity really stands for? Pictured in the collective mind as a defining, even sacred thing, it helps create a distorted view of a woman's first sexual experience. Between preconceived ideas and tough beliefs, for far too long, young girls have lived in the anguish of their "first time", thinking that they will not be the same person once this experience has been lived.
Why is sexuality still a mental burden for women?
This idea Cayce LaCorte, an American mom of five (ages 7-16) and Tik Tok user, doesn't want to hear about it. A few days ago, she answered the call of another surfer, nevadashareef, who encourages parents to share something that others find weird, but which, for them, is a healthy education, like the BuzzFeed reports. So she explained, in a video that has been viewed more than 2 million times since, that she raises her daughters on the assumption that virginity does not exist. " It is a patriarchal concept used to control women and it is useless – except to make women feel bad about themselves. Just because some guy randomly shoves his penis into you at some point in your life doesn't change your worth, it changes who you are. "
Sex is important all life
Come to think of it, the first sexual experience can be frightening, sure, but it shouldn't be more important than the others. For Cayce LaCorte, “ sex is important. It's a big deal. It should always be a big deal. It has nothing to do with your first time … it's just ridiculous. The whole concept is ridiculous ”, she continues in the video. Yet not all mothers share his opinion. " I hear a lot of bullshit from other mothers who say to me, "Oh, don't you think this will make your daughters lighter? And I say to them," No, I'm raising them to be good people, have a solid foundation, make their own choices, and make smart choices, not because a book tells them not to. "
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An enlightened discourse that reminds us that the way a woman will communicate about virginity and sexuality with her daughter is inevitably influenced by what has been instilled in her before. Even so, it is obvious that the first experience does not reflect the rest of the sex life, as a woman grows and evolves.
Mum or dad of a young girl: the time has come for de-dramatization and honesty. Let's stop embellishing or darkening the picture, at the risk of making it a lot more difficult than it should be.