those little phrases that we no longer want to hear

This Thursday, December 3, 2020, is the International Day of Persons with Disabilities. We asked those concerned which sentences were to be banned on that day and all the others of the year.

Among the discriminations present in our society is the fact that people with disabilities are considered "inferior" to able-bodied people. This translates into an almost constant lack of accessibility, allowances for disabled adults (AAH) who are below the poverty line, more frequent sexual assaults against disabled women … In short, all of society is concerned. , from culture to the media, including health and the law.

This system of oppression, which is called "validism", also involves small everyday sentences, which seem harmless to the ears of able-bodied, but which in fact show a lack of knowledge, even condescension, very hurtful for people. handis. "Validism leads to paternalistic and infantilizing behavior towards people with disabilities, explains Cécile Morin, spokesperson for Clhee (Collective Fight and Handicaps for Equality and Emancipation). They can be considered as eternal minors, much like women until the 1970s. Example: it is common for able-bodied people to speak for people with disabilities to say what is best for them, as if they were children. We can clearly see it in the media: when a television or radio set is put together on the subject of disability, people with disabilities are often in the minority, or even absent. Imagine inviting only men to talk about the status of women … " How to change the system? Difficult on your own, but you can start by monitoring your way of thinking about the disability, as well as your language.

These little phrases to ban

We interviewed people with disabilities in order to find out what sentences they, quite logically, hate. Here's the result…

Cécile Morin, spokesperson for Clhee

"Being nailed to an armchair". An expression that gives credence to the idea that people in wheelchairs are Christic figures of misfortune, that fate befall them.

"Overcome your handicap". Disability being an individual characteristic, just like any other, so this sentence does not make sense. You can't overcome your handicap any more than your blondness, your sexual orientation or your left foot. Furthermore, this expression has an injunction character, as if we had to overcome something negative to compensate for a supposed ontological inferiority. Ditto for "despite his handicap".

"You are a lesson in life". Disability does not give us any moral added value and we do not have to be sources of inspiration for able-bodied people.

-Another expression that we often hear about institutions, companies or public authorities: "Efforts have been made" to enhance accessibility, for example. The efforts are made by people with disabilities to try to adapt to social norms that forget and exclude them. Whether public space, workplaces or institutions are accessible is not a matter of effort, but of the most basic rights.

Stephanie

"You will never be able to work and have a normal family life". So far I have worked, had a lovely daughter and most importantly, I do a lot of volunteer work with my wheelchair.

"Oh! You have a small belly! Are you pregnant? But how are you going to do it?" Today my 12 year old daughter is doing well and I came out like an able-bodied mother.

– "Why are you looking for work? You get pensions! " I worked for over 20 years, but had to stop because of the accessibility of my workplace.

Laure

"How's it going and how do you go to the bathroom?"

"Is that your little sister?" A waiter's question to my boyfriend while we were in a cafe.

Lisette

"Good luck, Madam". Sometimes people add: "I know what it is, I spent a month in an armchair!"

– "Are you walking, madam? ", the question the practitioner for an x-ray or ultrasound.

– "You came alone? But what are we going to do, I can't carry you!" No need, I do my transfers on my own.

– "Congratulations, sir, that's what you're doing, it can't be obvious." Derogatory thoughts to my ex-husband in front of me.

Sad

"Why do you work, stay at home, you have the disabled adult allowance, you don't have your place as an employee …" I told him that I was a person like everyone else, autonomous and competent, that I never give up and that I ride freely!

"The wheelchair gives the company a bad image …". I offered a 2-day trial period at the front desk to show him I could work and change the look, the manager refused.

"You will not be able to have an emotional and sexual life as a couple, no one will want you, because you are in a wheelchair". I was lucky enough to meet a person who accepts me with my chair.

– An attitude. When I go shopping, very often the accessible places are taken, even today. As soon as I take my wheelchair out of the car, people turn their heads, they ignore me.

Marie-Pierre

– Confusion mental handicap / motor handicap, due to speech difficulties. An assistant told me that I had been conditioned to be disabled. And she added: "You should have an MRI to make sure there is no connection in your brain". However, I have a motor handicap and not a mental one.

– With my father, when we were at the supermarket. Someone asked him if I understood what he was saying, thinking that I had a mental disability even though I had a motor disability. Sometimes people articulate excessively and speak loudly, always thinking that I have a mental handicap.

– One day, I had an appointment with a gynecologist and he talked to my life assistant telling him that I didn't need to be checked out because I wasn't having sex.

Read also: "Containment: the alert cry for people with disabilities"
"Handicap: 40% of women victims of mistreatment in France"

What are the demands of people with disabilities?

Cécile Morin insists: equal rights must become effective in all areas. "This includes putting an end to the segregation of people with disabilities in institutions. We therefore demand deinstitutionalization in accordance with international law, as has been done in other countries."

As the spokesperson for the Clhee indicates, "Disability is today the main cause of discrimination, as the latest annual reports of the Defender of Rights attest". And to conclude: "We must fight for our rights, as other dominated minorities have done and continue to do." If we want to be a good ally, let's start by watching our language.