Thought chaos: Why a classic diary gives your life more order

“Dear diary…”, when I was a child, a new page in my diary actually always began like this. Today the writing style has changed a bit, but the effect is the same: let out everything that’s clinging to my head to organize the chaos of thoughts a bit and create peace in me. A tribute to the classic diary and why it gives order to my life.

I recently moved. When packing the boxes, you often come across nostalgic things that were somewhere at the back of the shelves or buried deep in the closet. Along with some family memorabilia, my old diaries reappeared – my very first ones. They were still real diaries with locks on them – perfect for keeping little brothers away from the most intimate secrets.

I started writing a diary when I was eight years old and have never stopped

Since I no longer had the keys, I grabbed a pair of scissors and cut the thin paper tab. So that’s how easy it was to get my private words, somehow it looked safer as a young girl. I opened the first page, it said June 1999, so I got the blue book with the elephants on it for my birthday. “Dear diary, today is my birthday,” it said in writing that actually looks a bit similar to today’s. “It was a great day. Many friends were there and there was cake. I was very happy.” Well, the beginnings were still tentative.

Today there are many different types of writing. They all have one thing in common: you should find more about yourself. Bullet journaling, for example, is a popular trend in which pages in a notebook are designed according to one’s own taste in a more or less artistic way. There are calendar sheets, to-do lists, book lists, bucket lists, energy meters, and so much more. I tried it too and I liked it too, but it doesn’t come close to the classic diary for me. Then there are diaries that work with ready-made questions. What is a relief for some, I always found limiting. I wanted to write freely, just go for it.

And that is exactly what makes a classic diary so appealing. Each page is fresh, new, and empty, ready to soak up your worries, fears, and woes, and preserve your joy, happiness, and laughter. My diaries are no longer those beautiful, colorful books with the locks of yesteryear. These are now blank notebooks – at least in pretty tones.

My diary helps me unravel the chaos of thoughts in my head

When I pick up my journal, my head is full of confused thoughts, all struggling to spill out. Sometimes I don’t even know if there is enough space on the pages. What a chaos of emotions, memories and thoughts. After the first burst of writing, it calms down a bit and my hand no longer twitches across the pages at lightning speed.

I re-read what I wrote. What happened again in the situation? Why did I act like that? The diary not only creates order in my head, it also ensures that I question and reflect on myself and my actions. Maybe my counterpart was right after all? Through writing, I can ground myself again, can calm down and give my scraps of thought a structure and thus more content. I get rid of things that are incriminating and I take one or the other idea with me.

As a journalist, I write all day, but usually it’s not about my innermost being. There is something meditative, if not therapeutic, about getting your heart out. It’s not about judging me or my actions, it’s about just letting the thoughts flow. I can feel the stress relieving with every word. When I put down the pen and close the book, I can sit back, relax and take a deep breath.

Would you like a change of perspective? I often wonder why other people act the way they do

And because I write all day long, it can sometimes lead to writer’s block. There are moments when even the simplest sentence doesn’t really sound good and the transitions are absolute rubbish and the start has to be new in any case. A journal can help here too. The random writing helps to release blockages. And it doesn’t have to be about something that actually happened. Sometimes I just write down what I’ve dreamed up, or something completely fantastic from the farthest corner of my brain. But it helps. Once back in the flow of writing, the article will also improve.

In my opinion, the best thing is that you can keep track of your own progress and changes in a diary. If you were a little narrow-minded about a topic at first, the words on the next few pages become more lenient and in the end sound more like understanding than resistance. But not only changes can be understood, memories are also preserved. For example, if I read old diaries, then the feeling from back then knocks again. Words are almost like smells to which well-known experiences are linked – you immediately feel transported back and can empathize with the feelings of yesteryear.

Not only do you reflect on yourself, your own opinion and actions by writing a diary, a change of perspective is also much easier. The older I get, the more I feel the differences between my generation and my parents’. Sometimes we deal with everyday situations completely differently. It sometimes helps me to suppress my anger if I ask myself: Why did my father behave in exactly the same way in this situation? look at things from all sides; this is often difficult in everyday life because there is simply not enough time. With a diary, however, this is not a problem.

A small (currently lilac in my case) book makes such a big impact. At the time, when I was only eight years old, I was of course not aware of it. I can only recommend everyone to try it out. At some point you can’t help but pull out your book and pen when your thoughts are once again on a rollercoaster ride.

Bridget

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