Tinder: Men take us as we are – but woe betide you are smaller

We preach body positivity – and select our partners with a tape measure. Something's wrong, right?

If you hang around on popular dating portals, you won't be spared a lot: men with bare chests and motorbikes who cuddle children ("not mine!") And puppies. Pouty women walking with alpacas and posing in bikinis ("no ONS!"). And count. Numbers everywhere. They range from a simple two to the 180s. What am I supposed to do with it?

"Please not below 180!"

Before anyone wants to enlighten me: I already know that it is about meters to centimeters that should indicate the height of a person. So body size seems to have become an all-encompassing dating criterion. It follows profile descriptions like that you are a "horse-stealing guy" or "a little crazy" and is probably the only hard fact. That's okay, you know in advance whether you have to look up or down on a date. One less surprise.

In my opinion, it becomes more problematic with unfamiliar body measurements in profile. Because both digital and analog, the words: "Please not below 1.80!" The common dream man motto among women is: The main thing is big. And we trumpet that quite unashamedly.

How absurd this development is only becomes clear when we turn the tables: Let's imagine a man would write "please not below 90cm" in his profile – and what body size he means does not matter at first. If a partner were to tell us from the start what our chest to hip measurements should look like, the screaming would be great. These are only dimensions.

Spoiler: There is no dream guy hiding in the 5 centimeters more if you can't find him in the remaining 175

Nevertheless, it is completely socially accepted that men in heterosexual relationships should please be taller than women. Then arguments such as protective instinct and leaning qualities are unpacked. I understand your approach – but in my opinion it absolutely does not fit the modern image of women that we are fighting for. And for which we no longer need a 2-meter giant, because we can and must take care of ourselves.

We preach body positivity, celebrate strong women, and demand equality at all levels. We tell each other that dress sizes don't determine our value, we want rough edges and diligently share that diamonds aren't round either. And then reject a man because he is smaller than us?

It is not as if we would necessarily keep partners just because they correspond to our minimum size. Then they get on our nerves or become strangers to us. Do not share the inner values ​​that we hoped for through their appearance. Or they let us stand again because our thighs do not meet their internal standards.

So, keep in mind: At the end of the day, the meter information simply reveals a body height. But the size of a person cannot be measured with a tape measure.