1. No pity, dear kick in the ass
… but maybe not quite as firm. But so firm that something moves. If you are already lying on the ground and wallowing in the injustices that life has provided for you, it does not help if others look at you with a sad look and "Oh man, I am so sorry that you are so bad ". I know that this is meant dear and that the people who like you don't want us to suffer, but a lot more helps positive thoughts that convey the feeling that everything will be fine at some point. After all, we can feel sorry for ourselves pretty well.
2. Acceptance and knowledge
When all the options you could choose in life feel really shitty, it's hard to believe that it will be fine someday. You see all the others out there who live apparently perfect lives and who shine the sun out of their butts every morning after getting up. And that in turn makes you angry, displeasing, sad, desperate and you struggle with your fate, assessing what was right and what was wrong. You think now life goes on like this forever. You would never feel normal again, let alone happy. And then you feel so isolated because everyone else is allowed to live a normal life while you are sinking into yourself. But you can only live a life in freedom if you take responsibility for yourself, free yourself from the things that prevent you from being the person you are. That can hurt like hell, drop you deep and drive you to the brink of madness. But the bottom line is that we can only make ourselves happy, nobody else. That includes accepting that there are ups and downs in life. We will not always be well, but we will be able to learn from the experience.
3. Act instead of brooding
Nothing shapes us more than our childhood. What our parents have given us from birth has shaped us for a lifetime. This is exactly why our personality structure makes us really difficult in one situation or another. But no matter how difficult it is for us to make changes, thinking has solved the fewest problems. In the end, we have to take action ourselves. Because nobody will take it from us, sort our lives and bear the consequences for us. And if big steps don't go, then maybe just small ones. One foot in front of the other, at some point you will arrive where you want to go.
4. Selfcare instead of I don't care
It sounds almost a bit banal, but it is true: if the body is fit, gets enough sleep and is supplied with sufficient, good nutrients, this also affects our mood and the view of things. Conversely, we often feel even worse when we are still tired and drained. And even if we would like to comfort ourselves with a glass of wine: alcohol is particularly counterproductive, especially the hangover depression that often follows. Then prefer to move, bathtub and book, call your best friend or netflix for hours.
5. Accept help: coaching, counseling, therapy, supervision
There are phases, crises, decisions, you need someone. Because it pulls the ground from under your feet, because you don't know what to do, because you're unhappy. And then sometimes talking to friends is not enough, then it has to be someone with experience and professionalism. It is not a bad thing to do therapy, on the contrary: things are seen differently, perceived differently and viewed from all sides. It is not something to be ashamed of! We can look for the help we need.