toddler strategy
This mental trick will make it easier for you to forgive
© Kaponia Aliaksei / Shutterstock
Do you always get hurt pretty quickly when others make fun of you? And do you often take criticism too much to heart? Don’t worry, we have something for you…
Who doesn’t know something like this:
- A critical comment from mom about our unhealthy lifestyle,
- a completely wrong opinion of the partner about the argument with our best friend,
- our sister, who once again completely ignores our problems on the phone
- or the colleague who makes it sound like we’re not doing our job properly.
In everyday life, we constantly find ourselves in situations where we feel attacked, hurt, insulted, or in some other way trampled on by others. It can really affect our mood, cost us strength or, in the worst case, hit us so hard that our self-confidence takes a hit. It can – but it doesn’t have to!
With this thought trick you protect yourself from being offended
Author Seth Godin stumbled upon an interesting thought that led him to the “Toddler Strategy” (toddler strategy) brought: When a small child sticks out its tongue at us, throws food at us or says “You’re stupid, I hate you!” in defiance. throws it at us, we would never think of taking it badly or taking it to heart. We would pull the broccoli off our pants, maybe calm the child down or just go our way unperturbed. Because we know exactly: The little one doesn’t think far enough to consider our position.
It has its limited (child’s) view of the world and is far too busy processing its own impressions and problems to be considerate of others. And if we’re being honest: a lot It’s not really different for us adults either!
Adults only see the world – or a tiny part of it – with their own two eyes. And the problems and demands that narrow and cloud their perspective are (speaking from experience) far more extensive than those of young children. Small wonder, then, that even adults do not behave in a considerate and prudent manner at all times, and that they occasionally (or frequently) step on others’ toes.
And that’s exactly what we should just remind ourselves of the next time mom, boyfriend, BFF and Co. start making fools of us again. They live in their own little world and can therefore not see, know and consider many things at all. And we can’t do anything about it – apart from calmly enlightening them about our perspective. But at least we can protect ourselves and remember: The others don’t want to hurt us any more than we want to hurt them! And yet sometimes it can’t be prevented – although of course there’s nothing wrong with trying.