children
Tooth gap puberty: If the tooth wobbles, the walls wobble
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Well, also a tooth gap monster at home? Somehow no one had told our author that your teeth wiggle your soul. Then she noticed it herself. Gap puberty is NOT subtle.
by Marie Stadler
It’s stupid when something overtakes you that you didn’t even know existed. Tooth gap puberty? Never heard! But I am now convinced that it really does exist. With two preschoolers, you can basically consider me a leading research institute for loose teeth and whims. Yes, two-year-olds are exhausting. Babies too. But the loose teeth, at least for us, put the crown on the fun.
The tooth fairy is an evil fairy
It all started so harmlessly. The euphoria at the first wobble, the anticipation of the tooth fairy … but then it came thick. I – an unproven tooth fairy in training – had believed in my new-fairy naivete that it was my job to put a “little” surprise under the pillow. Small in the sense of chocolate. Didn’t expect the other tooth fairies. Obviously they had reached deeper into their pockets and exchanged Playmobil’s dream locks for the measly milk tooth. “The fairy doesn’t like me” was the first emotional outburst of the post-milk tooth phase. And this emotional outburst had a quality that I had previously only known from particularly terrifying Supernanny episodes.
Tooth Gap Puberty: Is That Really My Child?
Unfortunately, it is not the case that there is only one tooth that says goodbye. The first loose tooth heralds a whole era. Since the total failure of the stingy tooth fairy, at least our peace-loving, sensible, helpful daughter has mutated into a little fury. Every request, no matter how small, is checked for justice and discussed to the bitter end. Everything that just a few months ago would have caused an annoyed shrug of the shoulders is now reason enough for crazy howling fits, existential crises of meaning and detailed relocation plans. And you stand by yourself and don’t know how to help. Because approaches are suddenly no longer accepted quite so impartially. No, anyone could come … And then you stand in front of a little heap of misery that you can’t embrace with trembling anger and helplessness. It’s really cruel. For both sides.
Teeth wobble. There is good news too
To my astonishment, most of the people around me had an inkling of the impending earthquake in our house. Only nobody had warned me when we unsuspectingly celebrated our sixth birthday. So now I learned that tooth gap puberty has, firstly, a name and, secondly, a few good reasons. It is like this: In preschool age it makes CLICK with children in several ways. Suddenly they understand the world better, question their childish naivety and recognize many connections that were previously only vague mush. This rethinking is pretty exhausting. I admit that I would be really overwhelmed if my whole worldview suddenly began to shake. In the end, all of this is good news. Because even if the feelings go crazy and six-year-olds are sometimes hard to reach emotionally, on the cognitive level you can suddenly talk to them in a completely different way than before. And at least that remains, while the emo phase doesn’t last that long and usually takes a few years off again until it climbs up spheres again in real puberty, which will probably make us laugh at this tooth gap phase at some point.
Talk, talk and talk again
And there comes the recommendation, which I, as a leading research institute in matters of tooth gaps, owe the world, of course. What really helps? I think talk, talk and talk again. Even with crossed arms and darkened eyes, children can listen quite well. They notice when you understand them, even if they cannot show it at that moment. And they feel, if you don’t question them even if they are a little awful. The other day I was lying in her bed with my daughter in my arms and she looked thoughtful. “Mom, do you know that when you think you’re stupid, but you can’t be different?” She asked me. I had to laugh because I know it damn well. I told her what a terrible tyrant I was during pregnancy and how irritable I was when I didn’t get enough sleep. My daughter smiled contentedly at me. There we lay, happy and imperfect and felt very close. For a moment I thought that the stupid tooth gap puberty could no longer harm us. But then my little one stuck his head in the door. “Mom, I think my tooth is wobbling!” He exclaimed ecstatically and I groaned and let my head fall into the pillow.
Book tip: Lotta is moving (Astrid Lindgren)
Music tip: The world’s best meanest parents (your friends)
Parents tip: just go on vacation alone