Bringing a billion users to the blockchain: That is the ambitious mission of Base, the Ethereum Layer2 from Coinbase, the largest crypto exchange in the USA. Base was launched on August 9th. With her: the onchain summer party. One week, every day: games, art, music and more. With prominent partners like Coca-Cola or Showtime. How does stepping into the cool “new internet” feel? I dare to try it myself – in the role of a supposed crypto newcomer.
It’s 9:30 am and I’m starting my journey. Coinbase Promises: “Cryptocurrencies” As Easy As “Child’s Play”. Theoretically. I have to mint an NFT, then the onchain party starts. The NFT is intended as a reward, I am told – for “early adopters”. Like me! My ego feels caressed: I belong to the digital avant-garde.
The design of the wallet is awesome. PacMan aesthetic on LSD. Bright colors, flickering images, cool slides. “Base is for everyone.” The motto: “Simple, safe and cheap.”
But instead, during the onboarding process, memories of the search for the A38 pass at “Asterix and Obelix” quickly come to life. One click on Mint NFT. And the damn gate to bureaucrat hell opens.
Registration for Base takes forever
To mine the NFT, I need a wallet. If I have installed the Coinbase wallet on my mobile phone, I am still missing Ethereum. If I want to buy Ethereum, I need an account with Coinbase. If I want to set it up, I have to enter all my data: name, address, bank details. And get them all verified.
More than an hour later…
I want to log into my Coinbase account with my phone. For this it must be authorized. The link will come via email.
For which I wait another fifteen minutes…
Finally in! Buy Ethereum. Payment method: credit card (not available at the moment) or bank transfer. Duration: 1-3 days. Seriously?
Another option is hidden in the browser: PayPal. Who knows why it’s not available on mobile phones. But hey, finally bought Ethereum. I want to send it to my wallet to finally mine the NFT.
It does not work …
“Your account currently has the asset on hold. It cannot be sent. Please try again later.”
Three hours and repeated attempts later…
My patience: at the end. I want to yell at someone. Favorite: Brian Armstrong, the Coinbase boss. Again and again: full-bodied promises. Then the sobering reality check: hung on my phone from breakfast to lunch and clicked through some crappy forms – and still: no NFT.
Very cool party
I’m trying another way: Polygon, the fast Layer2 solution for Ethereum. Maybe it’s faster that way? Bought. Tried.
nope
It’s 3:00 p.m. I officially give up. The base onchain party is worse than queuing at Berghain. hours wasted. In the end it says: unfortunately not today.
I love this “fast, efficient, cheap” and “new internet”.
After all, I bought Polygon and Ethereum for 50 euros, which I have not been able to get hold of so far.
Cool party Brian.
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