Sometimes it’s not life but our personality that gets in our way. How to find out whether or to what extent this could also be the case with you, you can read here.
Why do some people seem to succeed in everything, while others constantly stumble even on flat paths? Why do some get along with almost everyone and have healthy relationships while others are lonely and offensive anywhere? Why are some largely happy, mentally stable and crisis-proof, while others are dissatisfied and quickly overwhelmed?
If you can shake a precise answer off your sleeve, you are probably making it a little too easy for yourself and have certainly not considered everything. How (happy, successful, relaxed …) our life goes depends on more factors than we could imagine. External influences, social conditions, neurons, hormones, supposedly unimportant decisions that change everything. Lots of tiny details, which we are not able to grasp with our cognitive equipment, pave our way.
However, there is one constant that plays a role in everything that happens to us in life and which can therefore be instructive to deal with: our ego or our personality.
Our personality has an influence on our attitude towards the world, how we react to situations, how well we can adapt, what feedback we get, what that means for our self-image and so on. Certain traits of our personality can get in our way, both in private life and in a professional context.
The seven “Intrapersonal Problems Rating Scales”
In order to make the abstract and rather vague concept of personality more tangible, the American researcher Michael Boudreaux and his team recorded, analyzed and clustered personality traits of around 1,800 people. The researchers noticed that all characteristics can be assigned to seven different superordinate dimensions, so-called intrapersonal problems rating scales (IPRS).
- Emotional dysregulation
- (Lack of) discipline
- Conscientiousness / Perfectionism
Problems in one dimension, as the research group led by Michael Boudreaux found out, often correlated with perceived difficulties in life, such as perceived loneliness and inability to relate, happiness or unsuccessfulness.
The American psychologist Susan Krauss Whitbourne has selected statements for each of the dimensions for the Psychology Today portal, which represent them and which we can use to check for ourselves whether we might have a problem with them. The expert recommends evaluating each statement with a number between 0 and 3: 0 stands for strongly disagree, 3 means That is completely right.
7 criteria by which you can tell if your personality is in your way
1. Emotional dysregulation
Emotional dysregulation, i.e. a regulation disorder of feelings, manifests itself, for example, in difficulties in dealing with stress and pressure and in a low tolerance for frustration.
- I also get upset about little things.
- I start to cry easily.
- I get angry easily.
- I am easily annoyed by others.
Internalizing is difficult to translate into German, but it means a kind of withdrawal into oneself, which often results from insecurity and an unstable self-esteem.
- I feel worthless and not good enough.
- I compare myself to others too much.
- I have the feeling that other people are better than me (for example, smarter, prettier, richer)
- I am overly critical of myself.
3rd Discipline (Loss)
The discipline category includes not only the quality in itself, but also the motivation that usually leads to people being disciplined: enthusiasm, passion and the desire to get involved.
- I find it hard to stay focused.
- I get distracted easily.
- I don’t know what to do with my life.
- I procrastinate too much.
Externalizing is also not that easy to translate into German with one term, but it does mean something act thoughtlessly, without reflection.
- I cheat or steal from strangers.
- I cheat on my: n partner: in.
- I’m taking too many risks.
- I disregard rules (for example wrong parking, driving too fast).
5. Conscientiousness / Perfectionism
Conscientiousness, adherence to principles and perfectionism can be an advantage in many life situations, but become a problem when they are compulsive and exaggerated in our personality.
- I can’t be spontaneous.
- I am afraid of taking risks.
- I invest a lot in the goal of being outstanding.
- I have to do things perfectly.
- I’m afraid to try new things.
6. Penchant for imagination
Imagination is something positive, like conscientiousness – but it can lead to problems if it gets out of hand.
- I’m lost in my imagination.
- I have a hyperactive imagination.
Apathy is derived from the Greek term apatheia and means dispassion or numbness of feeling.
- I feel little enthusiasm and enthusiasm.
- I don’t feel particularly strong emotions.
What do our results tell us?
Based on the data available to them, Michael Boudreaux and his team identified the seven dimensions mentioned as frequently relevant when people have many problems in their lives. If we achieve a high average value (2 or 3) in one of them in the personality test, this can be an indication that this aspect of our personality causes us difficulties in everyday life or on our path as a whole. The nice thing about it is: In this case, we can do something specifically. Our personality is not a rigid framework, but changes with each of our experiences, decisions and actions. And we can control these changes to a not inconsiderable degree.
If, on the other hand, our values are 0 or 1 in all dimensions and our life is still not running as smoothly as we would like, obviously none of these aspects of our personality stand in our way – but perhaps another one that Michael Boudreaux overlooked. It can just as well be that we are not in our own way, but that other factors make life difficult for us. Or that our life is actually running as smoothly as it can, but we don’t even notice it. Because even if we are the best possible version of ourselves and lead our lives in the best possible way: There will always be phases when things don’t run smoothly, phases when we are sad, dissatisfied or angry. And if we can live well with such feelings, our personality at least fulfills what is perhaps the most important criterion of all.
Source used: Psychologytoday.com