Unfriendly? Why fear is often behind it

“She’s unfriendly” – why fear can be behind it when a person appears cold and reserved. These behaviors can also be perceived as rude, although they are usually based on fear.

Anyone who suffers from an anxiety or panic disorder or other feelings of anxiety is usually plagued by feelings of worry and restlessness. In some cases, the behavior that triggers these feelings can be perceived as rude, disinterested, or cold – especially by people who do not know the person concerned well and therefore cannot understand what is behind these behaviors. These habits can be misunderstood.

Impolite? These behaviors are often more due to fear

1. Not responding to messages or calls

People who are plagued by fears or worried thoughts often quickly become overwhelmed. A strong feeling of being overwhelmed can mean that they often don’t respond to messages for a long time or even don’t answer the phone. Communication can be more stressful for them and cost them more energy than other people.

It can help to at least explain to the people who are close to the person why they sometimes take a little longer to answer a text message or WhatsApp. In this way, those around you can classify this type of communication and may not feel offended if a message goes unanswered.

2. Spontaneously cancel meetings

The situation is similar with other social interactions: Even short-term cancellations can happen to anxious people. They made the appointment at a moment when they felt good and safe. When the time comes, they may not be feeling well at all, they will be stressed and overwhelmed and just want to hole up at home. This can be frustrating for those around you – after all, they were looking forward to and prepared for the shared plans.

Here too, communication is key. When the anxious person honestly explains why they are canceling an appointment and what is currently going on with them, they make it easier for the other person to understand them and to be able to classify the situation.

3. Not being able to look someone in the eye

People who suffer from social anxiety, in particular, sometimes have difficulty looking others in the eyes. This can especially happen in situations where they do not feel comfortable and safe, such as when they only know a few people at a large party.

The more often you put yourself in a situation that scares you, the easier it will become at some point. Of course, this doesn’t mean that fears like social phobia will simply disappear if you put yourself in new situations with people often enough, but it can certainly become easier over time to interact with others – and possibly even to look them in the eye look.

4. Be easily irritable

Anyone suffering from an anxiety disorder often feels nervous, restless and under pressure. This can lead to people being more irritable and quickly reacting in a bitchy or stressed manner – even if it’s only about seemingly small things. They may seem impatient and moody, but in reality it’s often just fear.

Taking enough time for yourself to do things that are good for you and perhaps help you switch off at least a little is essential here. Many anxious people need enough space to themselves to recharge their batteries and find some peace. The more space they can take to breathe deeply, the less nervous and moody they will probably react, even in difficult situations.

5. Act distracted

People who suffer from anxiety can become very consumed by these feelings. This can lead to them being preoccupied with themselves and their stressful thoughts and emotions, which can lead to them occasionally reacting insensitively to others. A friend may be talking about her problems, but the other person doesn’t seem to be really listening. The friend may feel hurt and not important to the other person. In fact, being distracted rarely has anything to do with the person not being interested in the other person, but rather with the fact that they are overwhelmed with their own thoughts and feelings.

It could help here to meet in an environment that is as quiet as possible, perhaps in someone’s home rather than in a loud, crowded bar. This can help anxious people feel a little safer and more relaxed – and thus better able to cope To be able to let in opposite.

Sources used: psychologytoday.com, instagram.com/thriveanxietysolutions

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