Unhappiness factor number 1: brooding makes most people unhappy

The number 1 unhappiness factor
THAT makes most people unhappy

Working five days a week but only two off. Paying bills every month for things that we need to live, but that don’t bring us any real joy and happiness (anymore). Conflicts with your partner, bad weather, being overwhelmed and other people who have a better shape than you do, do cooler things and are somehow always in the fast lane. Yes, life can seem pretty corrosive and unfair. But in truth it is not. Unless we make a crucial mistake…

This habit is a guarantee of dissatisfaction

For many unhappy people, the main cause of their dissatisfaction is not at all due to certain events that are currently spoiling their mood or their oh-so-hard life itself, but – sorry for saying this so harshly – solely because of them. More specifically, a very specific habit that inevitably prevents them from being happy: brooding and overthinking things.

Admittedly, thinking, doubting and all other mental activities have got us quite far and are theoretically also great tools with which we can cobble together a happy and fulfilling life. But overdoing it or doing it the wrong way almost always makes you miserable—for a simple, logical reason.

That is why brooding inevitably makes you unhappy

When we think things through, they are mostly things from the past or future. For example: “Phew, I’ve got so much to do next week. How am I supposed to get through this?” or: “Oh man, I really shouldn’t have said that! I’m sure I’ll never hear from him again…” Our thoughts are rarely in the present moment – we can’t even be, because the now is over faster , when we mentally grasped it. Only when we meditate do we usually live completely in the present.

However, when we think about future or past things, we are in a powerless role – because from the current situation we cannot change anything, i.e. neither improve something that in retrospect appears to be a mistake, nor a challenge that scares us makes, check off. The more we think about it, the stronger our sense of powerlessness becomes. And the less we experience or perceive what is happening around us – and what could give us a feeling of happiness.

Use thoughts positively

The problem is that we can’t (and don’t want to) switch off our thoughts. We’ll always be reflecting on our past and mentally preparing or planning for our future, and in itself that’s perfectly okay (and even fine). But whenever we notice that we are stuck and mentally drifting completely into another time zone, we should try to bring ourselves back to the now. Check off what we can’t change right now and distract ourselves with questions like: “What is important right now?”, “What do I intend to do next?” or “What can I do today so that the challenge that awaits me is less of a burden?”.

But don’t worry, that’s not all you can do to make yourself (more) happy. We have lots of other inspiration, for example little things that make you happier in less than 10 minutes or simple everyday rules for more happiness. And if you have a rough idea what’s making you unhappy but don’t know how to break out, here’s how to change bad habits.

Video tip: Yoga teacher reveals: This is how you become completely happy

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Bridget