Victim blaming is a strategy in which those affected by (sexualized) violence are blamed for the attack. Sounds wrong? It is! Our author explains why this happens quite often and what we as a society can and should do about it.
I was out with my group of girls, we just wanted to have a nice evening – a drink or two and dancing. Barely two minutes on the dance floor when a wet, sweaty body pressed up against me from behind, breathing down my neck and faster than I could even keep up with, he had already grabbed my waist and was rocking me back and forth to the beat of the music . After the initial shock, I saw red and just thought: “No! I don’t want that.” How many times did I put up with these attacks when I was 18? I was tired of it. I removed myself from the unwanted embrace and asked him to leave, somewhat controlled but with a trembling voice. Whereupon I had to deal with a bullying guy who accused me of being a prude, of not saying no directly and at the same time my “slutty top” was screaming to be touched.
“What was she wearing?”
This question is probably still one of the most frequently asked when it comes to sexual violence against women – and victim blaming at it’s best! The guy from the club also tried to suggest to me that it was my own fault. He didn’t mention his misconduct at all. A woman with “appropriate clothing” could have averted the attack, but not me.
It is not uncommon for those affected by (sexualized) violence to be laughed at, insulted or even blamed themselves. This phenomenon of perpetrator-victim reversal has long since made its way from the middle of society right into the courtroom. Through victim blaming, the question of guilt is shifted from the perpetrator to the person concerned, which pushes the crime into the background. Instead of support and help – as is actually expected – she is then blamed and, in the worst case, has to relive her trauma in eternally long court cases and negotiations.
Unfortunately, victim blaming now seems to be so deeply embedded in our society that it is sometimes difficult to expose. This is exactly what perpetrators take advantage of. If we understand what is happening and how perpetrators manipulate, we can better defend ourselves against it. That’s why I decided to write this text. Victim blaming must finally stop.
Where does Victim Blaming come from?
The term comes from the USA and was widespread from the 1970s. He describes a criminal defense strategy in rape trials that aims to blame the rape victim for the crime in order to exonerate the accused. Accordingly, victim blaming is mainly done in… Context of sexual violence and violence against women or non-binary people needed. Deep power imbalances create the perfect breeding ground for victim blaming. However, such an imbalance arises more quickly than expected. In our misogynistic society, which is shaped by patriarchal structures, all it takes is one man and one person who is not a man.
Women have internalized certain beliefs: I would rather endure the “accidental” touch on the bottom or the gaze that lingers a little too long on my cleavage. None of this has anything to do with the fact that we enjoy it. It’s pure self-protection, coupled with the uncertainty that something worse could happen to us if we defended ourselves more clearly. Victim blaming works so well for a variety of reasons. One of them is based on this very insecurity that arises from the inferiority of the person concerned. Wouldn’t this have happened if I had behaved differently? Could I have just walked away? Or have to say no more vehemently?
These questions are accompanied by shame and guilt. If the perpetrator then makes additional accusations, you quickly believe the whole thing yourself. Neither a short skirt nor a deep neckline gives anyone the right to commit sexual violence. Accusations such as “Her outfit screamed for it” or “She didn’t say no at all” still leave room for doubt. Sure, no means no. But no yes means no. Even a naked body doesn’t scream to be touched. Why aren’t women’s bodies in particular just allowed to be bodies – without being sexualized?
Why those affected are not believed
It is good that the presumption of innocence initially applies in Germany. But when a woman who has experienced (sexualized) violence dares to report it, society’s reflex seems to be not to believe her. She is publicly pilloried, has to present evidence and so on. It’s actually quite logical that most of those affected think three times before filing a complaint. They know what lies ahead: a battle that – let’s be honest – in most cases they can only lose and often leave retraumatized.
In return, perpetrators often use all sorts of weapons to avert the blame. Those affected are assumed to be mentally ill, not sane, or simply lying to gain fame, money, etc. get. They are loud though Federal Association of Women’s Advice Centers and Women’s Emergency Hotlines only about three percent that turn out to be hoaxes. The Unreported number of women who experience violence and do not report this, however, will be on 85.7 percent estimated.
The myth of the lying woman
The term victim blaming has only existed since the 1970s, but the practice behind it has a much longer tradition. Let’s start with the Bible. Because that, among other things, gives rise to the myth of the lying woman. Eve encouraged Adam to taste the apple of temptation. Even though he bit in of his own free will, she was blamed for the misery. Poor Adam had to leave paradise, and Eve was given the label of “resentful woman”. In many stories, it is women who bring men to ruin.
Sirens, witches and the like – all devious beasts whose only job is to make men’s lives hell. These stories and myths are of course long outdated, but they still represent the truth misogynistic society and explain, at least in part, why women are often not taken seriously or are mistrusted. Otherwise, why should the majority of society think: Sure she was raped, isn’t she just saying that because she wants to get one over on the man and is “famously horny”?
Why do women do this?
In addition to the social aspect, there is a psychological aspect that encourages victim blaming. It can often be observed that other women also stand behind the perpetrators instead of showing solidarity with the person affected. This can be explained as follows: On the one hand, people tend to “victim-blame” when they know the perpetrator and do not want to believe that they are capable of an atrocity. This phenomenon is seen again and again, especially among people who are in the spotlight. People think they know actor xy and can judge whether he:she is violent, but that is simply not possible. A sex offender can be likeable, but he still remains a sex offender.
Another reason for “victim blaming” is one’s own need for security. People tend to want to believe the perpetrator because then they feel safer. If the fault is not with the person concerned, then the same thing as you could happen to them. The illusion of a safe world is broken. However, by believing that the victim is responsible for the crime, they can maintain the illusion of a safe world.
Something has to change
The UN Women Germany Report on violence against women for 2022 shows that Every four minutes a woman in Germany becomes a victim of domestic violence and every 41 minutes of serious physical violence. In order for these alarming figures to change, we as a society must actively work to break down dangerous beliefs. We must listen and believe those affected by violence. This also includes exposing and standing up to victim blaming.
Raising awareness is so important because victim blaming has many faces. Dhe phenomenon not only occurs in the context of violence against women, but also describes a dynamic that can arise in “simple” power imbalances – such as in the job context. They then quickly say, “Well, person xy took part.” What is forgotten is that in such dynamics one person always has power over another. It is then that person’s responsibility to be aware of their power and not to take advantage of it. This also includes knowing that it is sometimes difficult for subordinates to say no. Abuse of power can simply only be blamed on those who exercise the power, not those who experience it.
Sources used: unwomen.de, pinkstinks.de, Frauenrechte.de, Frauen-gegen-violent.de