What are the causes ? How to calm him down?

A source of concern for parents, baby crying is frequent during the first months of life. In the vast majority of cases, crying has no medical cause. But how do you know why your baby is crying? What to do ? When to worry Answers and advice from Chloé Mekkouci, maternity nursery nurse.

Baby crying: a sign of normal development

Rest assured, an infant who cries every day is normal. We observe a "normal crying curve" in most babies during the first months of life:

  • crying tends to increase from the second week of life.
  • between 6 and 8 weeks, crying peaks.
  • crying then decreases and stabilizes around 4/5 months of age.


A baby's crying is usually most intense in the late afternoon and evening (especially in the second month). At this time of day, babies often cry for no apparent reason (no organic cause such as hunger, fatigue, wet diaper discomfort, pain). Hard to calm, this excessive crying affects both breastfed and bottle-fed babies.
According to the pediatrician Gisèle Gremmo-Féger, the tears of the first months of life “are in the vast majority of cases indicative of a normal developmental trajectory than of a problem in the infant or in the people who care for it”. No need to feel guilty then, you have nothing to do with it!

How to decipher his tears?

There is no manual for understanding baby crying. Every infant is different. However, some crying has characteristics that can point to the element that triggered it. “For a baby, crying is their only way of expressing themselves. He can want to tell us a lot of things. As the child grows, parents learn to detect the types of crying, namely crying from hunger, crying from pain, crying from fatigue or from discomfort.”, Explains Chloé Mekkouci.
Some would say that when a baby cries from hunger, he puts his fists or fingers in his mouth or tries to suck. Others will say that a baby who cries because his stomach hurts will tend to squirm and have a contorted face. Crying from fatigue would be accompanied by rubbing eyes and yawning. “We cannot generalize, but what is certain is that every parent can and should trust their feelings to decipher their baby's crying. Parents know better than anyone how their child is behaving", Insists the nursery nurse.

How to react to a crying baby?

The first thing to do when your baby is crying is to eliminate all organic causes (hunger, fatigue, difficult digestion, soiled diaper). If your child has eaten and burped, changed, slept but continues to cry, their crying may be related to stomach pain (in addition to crying, they are squirming). “In an infant, the digestive system settles slowly during the first months and he can sometimes feel discomfort after eating ”, recalls Chloé Mekkouci. In this case, you can gently massage her abdomen (with your hand or her legs) by making large circles around her belly button, clockwise. Another tip to relieve him, put him face down on your forearm, his head turned to the side (his face towards you).

If baby continues to cry for no apparent reason, he may need to be comforted. In this case, carry him against you and talk to him to reassure him. Warmth, smell and parent's voice are very important to an infant, they have a real calming and soothing effect. “It is better not to let a baby scream alone in his bed or deckchair by hugging him. A baby does not have a whim and does not get used to arms, these are preconceived ideas”, Insists the specialist.
Also consider skin to skin to calm your baby's crying or even prevent it. “It is very violent for newborns to suddenly switch from a very comfortable life in utero to life outside the womb where they have to express their needs. This is why in the maternity ward, it is recommended that parents spend a few hours skin-to-skin with their infant every day until at least the first month.”, Says the nursery nurse.

Read also :
Skin to skin with baby: 7 reasons not to miss it

Colic often blamed… wrongly!

When a baby cries a lot, the main culprits are often "colic" which is defined as long periods of crying that are difficult to soothe and that are caused by intestinal disorders (this has never been scientifically proven).
Problem, the term colic is often used incorrectly to explain the excessive crying of babies. Why ? According to Dr Gremmo-Féger, the characteristics of colic (intense crying that occurs at the end of the day or in the evening, which can last several hours and which appears around the age of 1 month and disappears around 4 months) are the same as those of normal crying of an infant. There would therefore be fewer "colicky" babies than you might think and probably too many drug treatments given for no reason and unnecessary milk changes …

When to worry

A baby’s crying does not mean something serious in most cases. Less than 5% of crying in babies is thought to be a symptom of a pathology.
However, the signs that should alert parents and urge them to consult a doctor are:

  • crying most of the day. “If there is no moment of respite during the day, it is not normal”, Points out Chloé Mekkouci. Excessive and continuous crying can be indicative of a digestive problem requiring drug treatment (gastroesophageal reflux, oesophagitis …)
  • crying with fever, vomiting, or diarrhea.
  • a change in behavior in the child.
  • a baby who is crying and no longer wants to feed.

How about accompanying the baby's crying?

Starting from the observation that a baby's crying is a sign of normal development, we should not want to stop them at all costs but rather support them. Apart from crying due to the dissatisfaction of a physiological need, there are many other reasons why a baby starts to cry. Among them, a need for affection, comfort or quite simply to release the accumulated tensions. The parent or adult caring for the child has an important role to play. And it is not to stop crying but rather to welcome it.
So don't be distraught if your baby continues to cry and struggle while he is in your arms and you try to reassure him. He probably needs to let go of his stress by crying. At the same time as he cries, surround him with your arms and talk to him: "you need to release the tension, I understand. I'm here to accompany and support you, you can let go in my arms”. The child always ends up calming down and he will feel relieved to be in the arms of his mum or dad when he is calmed down. “Better to let baby cry in your arms than in his bed or deckchair. We know that the babies who cry the least are the ones who are carried, listened to and cuddled the most”, Underlines Chloé Mekkouci.

Read also
Shake baby, an irreparable gesture
Night terrors in babies and children: how to calm them down?
Two years, the age of "no!" How to overcome this period without (too much) screaming?

Do not hesitate to hand over the baton when the crying becomes unbearable

Not all parents react the same way to their baby's cry. When the crying is frequent, intense and lasting for a long time, the parent may feel distraught or angry and the risk of doing something serious (shaking baby) increases.
When a parent is fed up with their baby's crying, they shouldn't hesitate to pass the baton on to the other parent or loved one. If the parent is home alone with the crying baby and cannot call on a loved one for help, it is advisable to put the baby in his bed for safety, to close the door and to go out for a moment to be able to calm down", Explains the pediatric nurse.
Parents overwhelmed by their child's crying can also call Allo Parents Bébé on 0800 00 3456. This personalized support line is free and anonymous. At the end of the line, early childhood professionals listen to and advise parents.

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  • Thanks to Chloé Mekkouci, pediatric nurse and author of the Lady LAIT Instagram page dedicated to breastfeeding.
  • Another look at infant crying, Dr Gisèle Gremmo-Féger, pediatrician at Brest University Hospital, 15th National Congress of Outpatient Pediatrics, June 24, 2007.
  • Infant colic, Francophone Group of Pediatric Hepatology-Gastroenterology and Nutrition (GFHGNP).