God? Big Bang? Easter Bunny? We reveal here what it makes sense to believe in when you want to have a long, happy partnership.
Actually, we don't even know whether it is really worthwhile to have a lifelong partnership with someone. The fact that we become ancient and have the choice of how we want to live is, after all, fairly new to humanity. But wishing to find the right person with whom we can share and spend our whole life is understandable and legitimate – after all, long love relationships offer us stability, security, closeness, intimacy, familiarity and many other advantages.
In fact, we can (and usually have to) do a lot to keep our partnership healthy, happy and intact for a long time, if we want to: Communicate properly, laugh with each other, experience adventures, be as honest as possible and, and, and. But not only what we do, but also what we believe is decisive – because our inner attitude and conception of love plays an important role in the success or failure of our (long-term) partnership.
Romantic love: happiness or decision?
In particular, the question of whether and to what extent we can control our feelings – including love and affection – can have a significant impact on our relationship. And it is precisely on this question that opinions differ greatly: While some believe that whom we love is a complete coincidence or is beyond our control, others are convinced that we can influence our emotions. In fact, others are more right than some in this case.
"Science shows that it is possible to deal with our feelings and to push them in certain directions," says the psychologist Dr. Leon Windscheid in the podcast "Betreutes Fühlen" with Atze Schröder. By engaging in certain behaviors, such as For example, if we touch our partner a lot or laugh with them, we get our brain used to associating closeness and joy with them, and we make it easier for us to love them. We can also influence our feelings with the help of our perception: By placing in the foreground what we like about our treasure and specifically questioning or relativizing what annoys us, we strengthen our love for him.
However, this adaptability of our feelings is only of limited help – it only gets the right power as soon as we are aware of it. "If you think you are able to adjust emotions, it will be easier for you, too," explains Leon in the podcast. So this means: Those who want to love and believe that he or she can influence or force it obviously have better chances of a long love than those who do not. Provided, of course, that you also believe in your partner – and that he is the right one.