“Cookie jarring” is unfortunately still common practice these days. You don’t know what is meant? Here you can find out from us what the term means.
What does cookie jarring have to do with dating? (Source: mcgphoto / depositphotos.com)
That means cookie jarring: maintaining an alternative romantic partner
The term “cookie jarring” refers to a situation in the context of dating where a person, while in a relationship, also simultaneously maintains an “emergency option” or “plan B” in the form of another potential romantic partner. It’s similar to the idea that someone keeps several “cookies” in a jar and can refer to them when needed.
“Cookie jarring” occurs when someone is unhappy in a relationship or has doubts about the long-term nature of the existing relationship. However, rather than actively addressing or ending the issues in the current relationship, the person keeps another person in reserve for emotional comfort, reassurance, or possibly a seamless transition should the current relationship fail.
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“Cookie jarring” should not be confused with casual dating situations or meeting multiple people at the same time early in dating. “Cookie jarring” occurs when an existing relationship exists, but keeps a person in reserve emotionally and romantically, unbeknownst to the main partner.
Examples of “cookie jarring”:
- Person A is in a committed relationship with Person B, but they begin to increasingly date and form an emotional connection with Person C. Although Person A is still with Person B, she keeps Person C in reserve as “Plan B” in case their current relationship fails.
- Person X is in a long-term relationship with Person Y, but she is still in close contact with a former flame, Person Z. Although Person X claims to be happy with Person Y, there is ongoing communication and flirting with Person Z, around to have an alternative option in the event of a breakup.
- Person M is in a relationship with person N, but still registers on dating apps and keeps in touch with other potential partners. Although person M affirms that her relationship with person N is solid, she retains these additional options to cushion her insecurities or dissatisfaction.
In all of these examples, a person who is in an existing relationship secretly keeps another person in reserve for emotional or romantic security in case their current relationship fails or becomes unsatisfactory. “Cookie jarring” is like a “red flag”, “ghosting” or “mansplaining”, “toxic”.
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