Friendship is individual
Friends are not a luxury in our lives, they are indispensable – because without friends it is difficult or impossible Self-confidence to develop, Crises to survive and happy to become (see below). In any case, friendship should therefore on our priority list stand at the very top!
Just as individual and different as people but friends are also unique and what connects them – aka friendship. In this respect, a definition of this term can never be as clear, simple and complete as that of "Thermo-Mix" or "Aubergine". But it doesn't matter, because even if we deal with characteristics, facts and definition approaches, we get a better feeling and a more concrete idea of what friendship is and how we recognize true friends. So we're doing just that now.
What is friendship? A definition
The Greek philosopher Aristotle described friendship as "one soul in two bodies" and in German the terms "friendship" and "kinship" were used synonymously until the 17th century. This shows how closely friendly relationships are traditionally perceived.
The current definition of friendship is:
- "Friendship means a relationship based on mutual affection relationship of people to each other who are characterized by sympathy and trust. (…) Friendships are extremely important for people and societies. "
You could also say, Friendship is a special (attraction) force between people, which is mainly fed from the following sources:
- Feelings
- The commitment to each other or the decision to be friends
- Similarities and mutual understanding
- Time, experience and memories
What is friendship? facts and figures
1. Deep friendship takes time
A group of scientists from the fields of sociology and psychology, led by Nobel Prize winner Jeffrey A. Hall, has investigated the role that time actually plays in friendship. According to this study with a good 350 participants, people have to spend at least 140 hours together to feel "good friends", "best friendships" need at least 300 hours. Here is an overview of all the different forms of friendship or acquaintance in the study in relation to the time.
- Acquaintance, "Friends of Friends": Less than ten hours
- Non-binding friendship: From 30 hours
- Friendship: From 50 hours
- Good friendship: From 140 hours
- Best friendship: From 300 hours
As you can see, as the relationship intensifies, the time intervals also widen, meaning that the threshold from an acquaintance to a friendship appears to be lower than that from a good friend. In any case, the study shows: It takes time to develop a deep friendship.
2. Friends make you happy and healthy
A study by psychologists from Brigham Young University in the US concluded that people with stable friendships were healthier and even 50 percent longer life expectancies than people without a strong social network. In addition, according to this study, a real friend with whom we spend time every day has a positive effect on our sense of happiness and satisfaction as an annual salary of 90,000 euros.
3. From a certain age, the number of friends decreases
In a sociological study by scientists from Aalto and Oxford Universities led by psychologist Robin Dunbar, it became apparent that the number of our friendships increased up to the age of around 25, but then declined from there – however, the relationships that gave us stay more stable and intimate. By the way: In general, the maximum amount of acquaintance and friendship that a person can maintain is between 100 and 200. The psychologist Dunbar involved in the latter study came to the number 148 in one of his studies, which is also known today as the Dunbar number.
4. Only half of our friendships are mutual
Somewhat frightening news about friendship: According to research by researchers from the University of Tel Aviv and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), only about half of our friendships are mutual. H. Out of ten people we would call friends, only five would say the same thing about us. The proportion of mutual friendship fluctuates between 34 and 53 percent, according to the researchers.
But is a one-sided friendship at all real Friendship? We'll clarify that now.
10 characteristics of true friendship
1. Unconditionality
Friends do not set conditions, but are there for each other when they are needed. They accept themselves as they are.
2. Honesty
Friends can be honest and honest with one another and talk, even if they have different opinions or give each other feedback.
3. Trust
In order to be able to deal with each other openly and honestly, you have to trust each other – and honesty also entails trust. That explains why deep friendships take time.
4. Authenticity
Friends can be authentic when they are together, i.e. H. they don't need to pretend or pull themselves together.
5. Emotional closeness
Friends feel close to each other, even if they are spatially separated and no longer see each other. This manifests itself, for example, in the fact that they often think of others, are interested in how he is doing, and empathize with him.
6. Understanding
Friends understand each other and can therefore forgive and support each other and give what they need (freedom, comfort, support, peace …)
7. Commonality
Friends typically have something in common that connects them. Hobbies, interests, experiences, attitude to life – without common ground it is difficult or impossible to develop trust and understanding.
8. Consideration
Friends are considerate of each other. If one person is doing badly, the other person is not burdening him with his problems. If one has a lot around his ears, the other doesn't blame him for not getting enough attention.
9. Faithfulness
Friends stick together, stand for each other and are true to each other. They defend each other and can rely on each other.
10. Mutuality
True friendship always goes both ways. Be it loyalty, honesty or unconditionality – in a real friendship these characteristics are mutual.
What is friendship? The most beautiful quotes
- "A little friendship is worth more to me than admiration of the whole world." (Otto von Bismarck)
- "Our outer destinies interest the people, the inner only the friend." (Heinrich von Kleist)
- "A true friend adds more to our happiness than a thousand enemies contribute to our misfortune." (Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach)
- "A safe friend can be recognized in unsafe matters." (Marcus Tullius Cicero)
- "You don't recognize real friends by how they praise you, but by how they criticize you." (Chinese proverb)
- "A true friend is a person who sees your smile and still feels that your soul is crying." (Source unknown)
- "The first law of friendship is that it needs to be nurtured. The second is: Be lenient when the first is violated." (Voltaire)
- "True friendship is a very slow growing plant." (George Washington)
- "Older friendships have more advantage than new friendships that have been forgiven a lot." (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe)