What is platonic love?

Love without sexuality, is it really possible? Everything is the stake of platonic love: an intellectual love, devoid of any carnal relation. But what is really the meaning behind this special feeling? We tell you more right here!

"Platonic. Platonic love is a totally aberrant denomination of the emotional relationship between an icicle and a defaulter. ". Here is the definition given by the nineteenth-century American writer, Ambrose Bierce, to platonic love. This intellectual love and devoid of any carnal relationship was actually mentioned for the first time in the 15th century by the Italian philosopher from Florence, Marsile Ficin. He then evokes the banquet of Plato, during which Socrates describes this love as a spiritual love, divine and not "perverted" by carnal desires.

"The passion of the lover cannot be satisfied by the simple touch (…) of the body, because it is not this or that body that she desires, but the splendor of the divine light which emanates from the body, which amazes and subjugates", he writes. By this, it is necessary to understand that there is another love carried only by the desire to be in harmony by the spirit with the loved one. Those who" practice "platonic love can feel a sexual desire, but do not try to satisfy it.

Platonic love: reality or fantasy?

Over the years, the divine dimension of platonic love has completely disappeared. Today, therefore, it essentially designates a intense relationship in which two people have immense affection for one another and who, however, do not have sex. Indeed, feelings occupy a place so much more important that physical passion is excluded. We can speak of platonic love in several cases:

  • During a very strong friendship between two individuals
  • During a extra marital adventure not having been consumed
  • During a long distance relation
  • During a chaste love relationship out of respect for religious values

It also happens that platonic love becomes the result of long years of common life. In this very specific case, the couple often made the decision to pursue together a love story in which there is no longer necessarily any sexual desire or physical attraction, but a strong mutual attachment, an infinite tenderness and a very solid bond.

The limits of platonic love

But can a couple be satisfied with the spiritual dimension of love, and continue without sexuality or carnal desire? If platonic love is the proof that desire and physical attraction can exist without them being materialized, the fantasy of this spiritual relationship can sometimes tire one of the two partners within the couple. The situation then becomes frustrating, the person always hopes more and does not really take pleasure any more in leading this romantic relation of "far". Love can only be platonic and lasting if it is really wanted and desired by both partners. It is therefore important that the couple is on the same wavelength and find answers to their problems.

These works which speak of platonic love in the world

  • Lost in Translation by Sofia Coppola

By showing a man and a woman lost in the city of Tokyo, in search of a direction to give to their life, Sofia Coppola speaks of a impossible love between two lonely souls. Bob Harris, an American actor, is in Japan to shoot an advertisement for a whiskey and partly to flee his wife. Charlotte, a young university graduate, is in Tokyo to accompany John, her husband, a famous photographer. She is bored and feels alone. Suffering from insomnia, Bob and Charlotte meet in their hotel and start to sympathize. A strong bond is quickly established between the two. They love each other differently, forge a real bond but when it comes to sex, they then become shy. If their relationship is not devoid of physical attraction, both partners are more interested in inner beauty the other. It is a real platonic love that ultimately has no future and will end once they both leave Tokyo. Charlotte also promises Bob never to return to this city because "it couldn't be as fun".

  • In the Mood for Love by Wong Kar-Wai

In In the Mood for Love, Wong Kar-Wai tells the platonic love story carried by Maggie Cheung (Mme Chan) and Tony Leung (Mr Chow). In Hong Kong, Mr. and Mrs. Chow move into their new apartment on the same day as their neighbors, Mr. and Mrs. Chan. Regularly alone at home, Mr. Chow and Mrs. Chan one day learn that their respective spouses are having an affair. Heartbroken, the two neighbors get closer and become friends. If at the start their friendship suggests that there is no possibility for them to live a romantic relationship, their feelings change. They then live a fusional love, without any sex scene being brought to the screen, however. Since Wong Kar-Wai does not provide any answer, it is up to the spectator to break their secret and then decide whether it is a platonic love or a consummate adultery.

Also read on aufeminin:

– 30 quotes that make impossible love possible
– What sexual position for romantic couples?
– These films to watch as a couple
– 30 positions to gain the upper hand over your partner
– 10 things women do better than men

See also: Laura Calu talks about heartache


Video by Coline Amar