A new dating trend has just emerged, and it’s not really going to please you. Seagulling consists of leading someone in a boat and leaving him / her on the ground.
The pandemic has seen the birth of many romantic tendencies. Many people have gone through painful breakups, some have found themselves a quarantine partner with corona cuffing, and still others have gone into apocalypsing, throwing themselves body and soul into a relationship to escape loneliness. However, a new post-covid trend seems to be emerging: “seagulling”.
Seagulling, a possessive and selfish behavior
Created by the site Metro UK, the term “seagulling” literally means “seagulls” and refers to acting like those greedy birds in Finding Nemo. They were screaming for their own fish, even though they already had mouthfuls of food to fill them up. For these seagulls, it doesn’t matter if they are really hungry, they just need to be able to say that something belongs to them. According to the UK site, this happens regularly in relationships. Maybe you’ve come across those kinds of people before who don’t want a relationship with you, but want you to “belong” to them anyway.
Whether he still has feelings for you or not, the “seaguller” takes you on a boat or keeps you under your elbow. According to experts in romantic relationships, the loneliness and latent frustration felt by thousands of people during the pandemic would only accentuate this phenomenon. After more than a year of confinement and dying social life, it is FODA, for fear of dating again (the fear of making love again) that strikes single people.
Seagulling, an anxious attachment
Those who practice seagulling can do it because they are afraid to commit or on the contrary to disengage from a relationship. This is what Charisse Cooke, relationship expert, interviewed by Metro UK, called “anxious attachment”. “As the name suggests, some people can experience a lot of anxiety about sex and love and may find it difficult to break away from a relationship, often feeling preoccupied with it for a long time. after it ended ”, she explains. In this, seagulling somewhat resembles breadcrumbing, or the fact of keeping someone close to you, without wanting to commit.
One should not necessarily see malice or toxicity in these behaviors which can be unconscious. “When someone comes in and out of our life, it is a loss, no matter how small. The idea that this person is with someone else can cause surprisingly powerful feelings in us, as it makes us realize that we have just lost someone and that they are going to share their life – and their bed -. with someone else ”, Charisse Cooke says. So when the seaguller senses that the person has probably turned the page, he goes back and looks for him and remembers him. This jealousy and possissiveness can be destructive for everyone involved, especially if they become obsessed. If these negative feelings become overwhelming, don’t hesitate to seek professional help.