If you have ever had feelings for a friend without this being reciprocal, you have entered what is called the friendzone. Definition of a term that has become popular thanks to the Friends series.
What is the friendzone?
In love, there are sometimes terms that we don't really understand. This may be the case for the "friendzone", a feminine name which literally means "friendship zone" and which designates a friendly relationship where only one of the friends develops romantic feelings for the other. But it is sometimes difficult to recognize it! Are you only friends? Is it just a game of seduction? These are questions we have asked ourselves at least once in our lives. In reality, it is a somewhat embarrassing situation and difficult to live when one is in the place of the "friendzoné". Even more when you fall in love with the person in question …
A term that has become popular
The expression "friendzone" became popular thanks to the Friends series in 1994, when the character of Ross was designated "mayor of the friendzone" by his friend Joey. Indeed, Ross tries as best he can to seduce Rachel who, unfortunately, sees him only as a friend, a good friend and nothing more.
Very little used, the term is democratized much later thanks to social networks. In September 2016, the "friendzone" was entitled for the first time to its official logo. It is a surfer who unveiled on Reddit this logo imagined to designate this famous area of friendship: on the right a hand in the shape of a half-heart, on the left another hand that raises the thumb.
The friendzone, a disturbing term
Today, the term "friendzone" is mostly used by men. For the majority of them, this situation is synonymous with humiliation and frustration. And searches on Google prove it very well, there are only tips to free yourself from it. "How to get out of the friendzone?", "How to get free from the friendzone?" … When a man is stuck in the friendzone, he must escape it at all costs, for fear of losing his manhood. And this is what poses the problem: we imply that friendship between two people of different gender is impossible.
The perception that we have of relationships between men and women is still too misogynistic: men are predators who have no interest in befriending a woman, except to have a sex with her. Too seductive and sexualized, women for their part would make this friendship impossible. To believe that only their physique is interesting in the eyes of men … A totally aberrant conception which unfortunately lasts in our society.
Blaming women (always)
Perceived as manipulative, we do not hesitate to let women know that "friendzonating" a man by considering him only as a friend and refusing his advances is bad. While the woman passes for the bad guy by choosing to go no further, the man always passes for the victim. And because even today we believe that women are only attracted by "bad boys", the friendzoné man is still represented and perceived as the "nice friend", the good friend who would not hurt any stupid and with whom we should couple because "you know he is really very nice". No, a woman is free to choose the person she wants to be with and she also has the right to be attracted to a woman and to fall in love with her.
See also: Recognize a man in love: all the signs that do not deceive!