Every year, during the first frost, the desire to cocoon is felt. Then comes the season of "cuffing". This dating trend involves settling down at all costs so as not to spend the winter alone.
The cuffing season is officially open! In other words, the time of year when the weather gets colder and everyone seems to be dating. But beware, if you are looking for true love, go your way. This is not the purpose of cuffing. The concept is simple (at least, apparently): single people seek to settle down to spend the winter in the warmth. No more no less.
What is "cuffing"?
In English, cuff means "handcuffs". Thus, from the month of October, the trend would be to find someone to "handcuff" to – and no, not in the style. Fifty Shades of Gray – to get through the winter. This is what popular culture calls the "cuffing" season, a period from October to March when singles rush to get into a relationship, motivated by the hope of finding a partner for keep them company. This phenomenon, observed for several years in the United States, appeared in the Urban Dictionary in 2011.
No commitment or headaches, cuffing is confined to Netflix marathons, long afternoons under the duvet and evenings curled up by the fire. Between the cold, shorter days and fewer outdoor activities, the winter season awakens the need for love of some. If we add to that the holiday season and your aunt's questions about reasons for your celibacy, it is easy to fall into the trap of cuffing. But the return of sunny days is often the reason for this idyll.
This year, the situation is a bit special. The Covid-19 pandemic has given rise to a new trend: the "corona cuffing", which then consists of settling in with the goal of not going through confinement solo.
How do you know if you are a victim of cuffing?
- There is an urgency to meet. The "cuffeur" (or the "cuffeuse") has no time to waste and tries to get an appointment as quickly as possible. Rather than taking the time to get to know you and chat before meeting you in person, he / she won't hesitate to insist on rushing things.
- Your partner refuses to make "long-term" or even medium-term plans. Maybe he / she has trouble projecting himself / herself. Or maybe you just aren't a part of her summer plans.
- You spend your time watching movies, staying at home and cuddling. You might think it's super cute and romantic, but no. They are just trying to warm up.
- Your conversations are superficial. Your partner tells you personal stories from time to time, but does not try to confide in and tie up "https://www.aufeminin.com/". He / She prefers your relationship to remain light and "entertaining".
- He / She planned the Christmas dinner with his parents after a few weeks of relationship. Your partner wouldn't share these intimate moments with just anyone, sure, unless he / she had a good reason to be "caught" at a family reunion …
These signs should put you on the spot. It remains to be seen whether this is cuffing, or holidating, a recent romantic trend similar to "handcuff season". If you find that the person you are with corresponds to any of these behaviors, be direct and talk to them about your intentions so that they know that you are looking for something serious. If, on the contrary, you recognize yourself in this description, make sure that your cuffing partner either on the same wavelength as you.
See also: what is "holidating", a love trend inspired by a Netflix movie?
Cuffing, for or against this love affair?
It's okay to want some company to cocoon all winter. But you still have to be clear about your intentions. By following a few simple rules for the cuffing season, everyone involved should come out of this temporary relationship unharmed.
- Be honest about your intentions
If you are intentionally looking for someone to hug you and keep you warm for a few months, be clear about this. Also, take some time to think about your reasons for starting a relationship with a set expiration date. Are you just looking for someone to share your Pumpkin Spice Latte with or to fill a gap?
- Think about the privacy you are ready to have
Check with yourself and each other regularly to see if you are ready to be open to each other. It can get complicated if you and your family are looking for different levels of availability and vulnerability. You have the right not to invest yourself completely in this relationship which will only be temporary.
Check in with your partner every month or so to find out where you are, how you are feeling and where this is taking you. The more time you spend with someone, the easier it is to develop feelings. It's important to be honest all the time you spend together.
- Set limits before, during and after cuffing
What is the line between a casual relationship and another level of relationship? For example, let's say you want to give flowers to your partner. A nice touch … which can also make him / her uncomfortable. And what if he / she hasn't replied to your text? Do you have the right to make a scene? Good communication will allow you to avoid mixed signals.
- Don't let the pressure of celibacy influence you
The injunction to the couple weighs on the single people. The company is always regulated on the model "work-marriage-child" and everything is done to show that the model of the couple prevails. If you succumb to cuffing to silence derogatory comments, perhaps you should reconsider your choice.