Wisdom of other countries
What Japan can teach us about worry management
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We can learn by broadening our horizons – and also looking across national borders to see how people overcome challenges. This Japanese habit can also help us in difficult times.
Our society uses certain structures and we grow up in them. We learn from our parents, teachers or friends how they behave in certain situations – or see them in times of one Crisis, how the people around us, whether we know them or not, react to it. Some of these rules have been internalized for generations. And it is often helpful to have these insights and apply them in your own life. Sometimes it can also make sense to put out our own feelers and look outside of these areas for approaches that can help us.
Life is a question of attitude
I’m not a fan of the phrase “life is hard” that we hear so often. Of course, life can be hard, but shouldn’t we be happy about sentences like “Life is beautiful” and say it to others more often? A sentence that brings both together well for me is: “The only way to learn is to live.” A sentence from one of my favorite books, “The Midnight Library.” He sums it up for me that we have to experience both the beautiful moments and the difficult ones because we learn from them – and they in turn are part of our lives and therefore also a part of us. Nevertheless, we often dwell on things that worry us or fear, which seem like a single, never-ending crisis. And that’s where a simple practice from Japan comes in handy.
“Ukeire” (受け入れ) or also: “acceptance”
The author Kaki Okumura writes in the online magazine “Medium” about the perspective of “ukeire”. Translated it roughly means acceptance. But that doesn’t mean always seeing the good in everything, says Okumura – the lesson is to let the situation be what it is for a moment and make peace. However, the approach does not mean that we ignore a problem that has arisen. We just accept that it’s not our fault.
Some things are out of our control, like a bad storm that fills our basement. We are not a bad person or incompetent because we could not secure a dry home for the family. It’s something that happened and we couldn’t control it. But what we can do is keep going. The storm is not man’s fault, but instead of leaving the water in the basement, he needs to deal with the problem – and think about how to improve the situation in the future.
Not to be guilty, but responsible
Okumura gives some examples in which we often want to sink into helplessness and shows how things can sound more feasible with a simple formulation. The assumption: Not to bear the blame, but rather the responsibility:
- It may not have been my fault that I lost my job, but I can find a new one.
- It may not have been my fault that I got sick, but I can do something about my health.
- It may not have been my fault that contact with friends has become less, but I can actively report it myself.
The concept of acceptance is ultimately a mindfulness exercise. It is an acceptance of the experience we have had in the here and now. We notice them and accept them. Only after we have accepted the moment as it is do we take our next step. If we immediately go to the barricades and want to counteract the situation or simply reality, we often do not see clearly and fall into stress or frustration. But we usually only have our best ideas when we calm down.
Sources used: kokumura.medium.com, consciousdiscipline.com