“What men cost” – that’s how the men themselves suffer under patriarchy

“What Men Cost”
It’s not just women who suffer from patriarchy – men do too

“Of course it’s not ‘the men’ who cost society at least 63 billion euros every year,” writes Boris von Heesen at the beginning of his book “What Men Cost – The High Price of Patriarchy”. “It is patriarchy and the role stereotypes that result from it that result in unhealthy gender-specific behaviors.”

Explain equality in the language of money

Von Heesen uses a language that everyone understands and that is usually always listened to: money. And it works! He cleverly accommodates awkward terms like feminism and patriarchy without looking like a challenge to men. Because feminism has nothing to do with a fight against men, nor should it help women rise above men and transform patriarchy into matriarchy.

Feminism is much more about the fight for an equal society – and that includes all people, regardless of skin color, religion, sexual orientation or gender assignment. Patriarchy, i.e. a system of rule shaped and passed on by men, harms us all – and also the men themselves.

It’s not just women who suffer from patriarchy – men do too

94 percent of fathers still work full-time. For mothers it is only 34 percent. Women are thus deprived of the right to professional development and self-sufficiency. They are much more likely to suffer from poverty in old age, as they still do most of the unpaid care work today, do not receive a pension and are dependent on their husbands for money.

But here, too, there is considerable injustice for the men. They bear the social burden of being the sole breadwinner and are separated from their children during their working lives. The lifelong fixation on the job means that problems are not talked about, people go to the doctor less and their health suffers from a lack of exercise and poor nutrition. In addition, after the job is gone when they retire, many men fall into a hole, writes von Heesen. Patriarchy and the associated role models are therefore a lose-lose situation.

But injustice itself is not the only problem. Patriarchy costs billions. Whether traffic accidents, prison stays, addictions, white-collar crime, football hooligans or in the area of ​​environmental and climate protection – men lead all negative statistics.

A small overview of the costs of patriarchy

Road accidents caused by men cost the country €5.21 billion in 2018. The focus here is, for example, on accidents under the influence of alcohol, with high-performance cars from around 163 hp and a significant number of speeding violations.

In 2021, the yearbook of addiction recorded that 73 percent of alcohol dependents were male. If you look at the direct and indirect costs, the total is 26.22 billion euros. These result, among other things, from direct costs from the medical and nursing sector as well as for rehabilitation measures. The indirect costs in the form of unemployment benefits, the consequences of reduced earnings or inability to work and the loss of resources through premature death follow somewhat later. Overall, the addiction factor (including games of chance) accounts for the highest mountain of costs at 43.93 billion euros.

Soccer is a popular sport, especially among men, in which one’s own team is defended with a lot of passion. The annual report for football from the central information point for sports operations shows that over 2.44 million police hours were accumulated for the 2018/2019 season. This results in a total of 165 million euros for police costs. Overall, the number of violent fans in Germany is very small.

But not all of the effects of patriarchy on men can be measured in monetary terms

This small cost outlook and the total costs of 63 billion euros are only minimum costs that can be used as a guide, writes von Heesen. In addition, they represent only a small part of the impact of patriarchy on society. There are still numerous non-measurable dimensions – also among men. Among other things, the suicide rate among men is significantly higher. In the age group between 20 and 45, 80 percent of suicides are committed by men. Exactly in that period of life where the future is slowly forming and expectations are rising. Often it is about failure or the fear of failure.

This shows time and time again that the patriarchal role models have to be broken up and society as a whole has to work on a new order. Women must be trusted more because they are just as strong as men and men must be relieved of the burden of having to carry everything alone. Because the fight for equality should not be about assigning blame, but about constructive common solutions.

If you want to delve deeper into the subject, you should take a look at the book.

“What men cost – the high price of patriarchy”
Boris von Heesen
Published by Wilhelm Heyne Verlag Munich, 2022
Hard cover, 18 euros

Bridget