Whisper: What's it like to end an affair?

In an affair we often first ask about the beginnings: "Why did you do that?", "How did it come about?". But what is it like when an affair ends? At "Whisper" numerous (ex) cheaters shared their stories.

Some people are very clear and sure about their attitude towards affairs: If you love, you don't cheat unless you are a pig. Maybe they're right about that, but maybe it's more complicated. For example, if you inquire about the reasons and personal motives that caused a person to cheat, it becomes almost understandable and understandable that they did it – and in any case it turns out that they are not a pig after all, but only a human.

But what about if we listen to the end of affair experiences: Does that make things clearer again – or maybe even more complicated? At "Whisper", numerous people shared their story or its outcome. Just make yourself a picture.

Cheaters tell: This is how it was for me to end my affair

1. Excruciating guilt

"I ended my affair shortly before my wedding. That just wasn't the way I wanted to start my marriage – now my guilt is almost killing me."

2. Emotional chaos

"I ended my affair and now I have the feeling that I shouldn't be sad or miss him because of that. Because I shouldn't have started anything with him in the first place."

3. Tormenting longing

"I once had an affair with one of my superiors. It was wonderfully intense. We fell in love and that scared us. We ended it and he moved to another branch. It was all several years ago – and I always have still longing for him. "

4. Burdensome secret

"I was having an affair with a friend's wife. We ended when she got pregnant and had an abortion. We are now pretending nothing ever happened."

5. Daily torture

"I had an affair with one of my co-workers. I ended it because I developed feelings. He's three meters away from me. Seeing him every day is sheer torture."

6. Serious mistake

"I ended my affair – I should have left my husband instead."

7. Broken heart

"I'm a full-time mom who had an affair with another woman for two years – until she ended it. Now I'm devastated."

8. No regrets

"I had a hot affair with a man I was deeply in love with. It destroyed our two (very long) marriages. But I have no regrets."

9. Bitter disappointment

"I had an affair with a colleague for two years. He was married. I told myself there was more between us. After we were over, he left his wife for a younger one – but not for me!"

10. Well-known emptiness

"I've just ended a five-month affair with a good friend of mine. I know it's bad that we cheated on our partners, but it gave me so much in my life that I missed before."

11. Avalanche of sadness

"I had an affair with a married woman and it ruined their marriage. I didn't realize what a huge avalanche of sadness that would bring."