Why getting angry is also a blessing


Corentin Alloune / Photo credit: Maxime Gruss / Hans Lucas / Hans Lucas via AFP

Many people say that the feeling of anger is a bad counselor. Often considered a negative emotion, it is nevertheless necessary for the proper functioning of our mental health. guest in Well done for youMonique de Kermadec, clinical psychologist, psychoanalyst and author of the book Dare to be angry, published by Flammarion, gives some tips to better understand this emotion which can be more useful than you think.

Understand what anger is

First of all, it is necessary to understand this impression which is a form of dissatisfaction, even a sign of suffering, according to the psychoanalyst. “This anger must above all not be stifled. It must be listened to, because it allows us to take into account our values ​​and to ask the other to respect us”, explains Monique de Kermadec.

Otherwise, if it is not listened to, some people may have hypertension, others have an accelerating heart rate. “And I will say that in the long run, anger that is suppressed will rob us of the taste of life. It can even cause us to feel depressed, to become embittered”, adds the author of the book. Dare to be angry.

“Anger allows us to be ourselves”

Anger indicates that something needs to be done when it is there. It is therefore a signal. Something will have to be changed in the situation, otherwise this feeling cannot go away. “And it’s very important because in fact, this anger allows us to be true, to be ourselves. Too often in life, we act according to what the other expects of us. “, details the clinical psychologist.

However, when a certain limit is crossed, we can no longer accept this position. Therefore, anger is healthy and asks us to reveal who we are, what our needs are and to ask to be respected.

Sport to vent your anger, a false good idea

Exercising is generally seen as the key to venting anger. Also, in recent years, furies rooms have been popping up all over France. These are living rooms in which people can let off steam by breaking everything in them. But it is a false good idea to believe that these are miracle recipes.

“To say, ‘I’m going to hit a punching bag and I’ll be less angry afterwards’, it is true that physical activity allows a discharge, but at the same time, it does not solve the reason for anger. If we do not communicate with the other, what does not suit us, what hurts us, nothing will change”, testifies Monique de Kermadec. Anger is therefore not necessarily a feeling that is always negative and that can even help us to feel even more alive when we use it well.



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