Why reducing orgasm in the clitoris is problematic

Long invisible and little known, the clitoris is now on everyone's lips. It is finally getting the place it deserves in sex education, to the point of becoming a pop logo and advocacy tool. But don't we replace one injunction by another by reducing sexuality to a single organ?

In just a few years, the clitoris has gone from taboo to political tool and a true symbol of feminist struggle. We stick posters with his effigy in the street, we create Instagram accounts dedicated to him, and we campaign for him to finally be represented in all SVT manuals. A much needed rehabilitation for this sexual organ (the only one) entirely dedicated to pleasure. But that should not for all that create new diktats by prioritizing pleasure and orgasms.

The clitoris, from taboo to political symbol

"It’s not a pretzel" (This is not a pretzel). These words were plastered everywhere in the streets of Paris, on the occasion of International Women's Day, March 8, 2019. The movement is initiated by Julia Pietri, at the origin of the Gang du Clito and author of Le Petit female masturbation guide. On the posters, the image of a colorful, tangy and pop clitoris. The goal of the campaign? Educate passers-by about the clitoris by questioning them about what design represents and challenge the public authorities on the lack of representation of the clitoris in school books. And for good reason, a quarter of 15-year-old girls do not know they have a clitoris and 83% of them ignore its erogenous function. This is, among others, what denounces a column published in Le Monde the day before, March 7, 2019, aimed at combating "sexual illiteracy".

The clitoris is at the heart of all attention today. After having long distinguished two female orgasms, the clitoral and the vaginal, we now know that the clitoris, due to its structure, both internal and external, is also stimulated during vaginal (and anal) penetration. In reality, both of these types of orgasms involve the clitoris. "We arerealized that it was not just a small external glans, but that there was a whole internal part, so when there is vaginal penetration, the clitoris is also stimulated and therefore participates in orgasm ", explains Laura Berlingo, obstetrician-gynecologist and author ofA sexuality to oneself (ed. Les Arènes). While freeing up the word around pleasure can only be welcomed, be careful not to depart from one standard and rush into another. Because if the clitoris is a little gem whose 8000 nerve endings offer one of the keys to enjoyment, it is certainly not the only way to achieve it.

The perverse effect of over-representation

Without a clitoris, no salvation? "I am very uncomfortable with all the delirium 'the orgasm is necessarily linked to the clitoris'" feminist documentary and porn director Ovidie writes on Twitter on April 10, 2019. In a long post, she discusses the risks of discourse that claims the clitoris has a monopoly on enjoyment.

Like the director Ovidie, Laura Berlingo warns against the abuses relating to this over-representation: “We must be careful not to reproduce the same injunctions, the same patterns, and essentialize women or men by defining them by one of their genitals”. For Alexia Bacouël, sex therapist, interviewed by us, it is "Deny all the possibilities of the body and our ability to obtain pleasure by means other than stimulation of the clitoris". Guest of the Program B podcast (alongside Ovidie in particular), Damien Mascret, sex therapist and co-author of Revenge of the clitoris (ed. La Musardine) states that there is no vaginal or clitoral orgasm. "We are talking about an orgasm with a preferential starting point for clitoral or vaginal stimulation. Everything happens in the brain (…). The clitoral organ is doomed to experience pleasure and sensations, but that is not exclusive, it can be associated or dissociated from other sensory stimuli ", insists the doctor, who is also worried that we are denying the feelings and words of many people. "The risk of the 'all clitoral' lies in the fact of focusing all his attention on this organ, of stimulating only this one, and by that, of losing the diversity and the plurality of our modes of enjoyment", warns gynecologist Laura Berlingo in her book.

For Caroline Janvre, psychologist and sexologist, the fact that the clitoris is entering pop culture is rather positive. “Being able to visualize parts that were seen as off or not present can help some people find pleasure more easily as well. I think there are still a lot of people who don't realize that the pleasure you can get from vaginal or anal stimulation also means stimulation of the clitoris. But we don't really care, as long as there is fun that's what counts, that's not where it comes from! There may be a pop side that makes it present, but you have to be careful that it doesn't become a norm ”. It's interesting to question what standard there would be in having pleasure and the attention one should pay to the clitoris, according to the expert. Why resolve pleasure to just one organ? There are lots of ways to cum. “Anything can give pleasure. There are people who will have an orgasm when their earlobe is licked ", emphasizes Caroline Janvre to Aufeminin.

Read also: No, I won't find my G-spot, my Deep Spot, my clit (platform)

As long as there is fun, that's what matters, that's not where it comes from!

Explore new horizons

"To centralize the whole act around the clitoris around the practices is a bit poor and it does not suit everyone", regrets Laura Berlingo. Tying people to their genitals also raises the issue of gender identity, especially for trans women. "Not all women have a clitoris, and you don't need a clitoris to be a woman", specifies the gynecologist. It is also guilty for those who do not feel pleasure in stimulating their clitoris, or that direct stimulation is inconvenient. Could we forget that the pleasure is global, that the whole body is mobilized – and even the brain? There are no rules when it comes to sexuality, nor how to use it. "The idea is to stay open to possibilities, to exploration, to discovery. Some people will find different pleasures in different practices ”, reminds us of sex therapist Alexia Bacouël. Some people can come from breast stimulation, others describe a cervical orgasm, and still others love deep penetration. There are also people who need double or even triple stimulation to reach orgasm. "Orgasm has to do with ultimate pleasure, it can be caused by eating something extremely good, by gazing at a landscape, a place that is very dear to us. There is no model, she adds. It can be caused by a lot more than very 'mechanical' stimulation. "

"Sexuality feeds on time, events, encounters, it is also related to the biological, physiological and social aspect. Our body does not react in the same way depending on certain periods (menstrual cycle, pre-menopause, pregnancy, etc.) ”, continues the sex therapist. Laura Berlingo also invites us to "open up the possibilities", diversify the ways of having sex, in order to explore new sensations, and not to make the clitoris "the alpha and omega of all sexuality" . “The erogenous zones are multiple, let's take advantage of them! Let us enjoy kisses on the neck as much as cunnilingus, caressed hair as the biting of the thighs », she enthuses. In short, let's expand the field of possibilities rather than focusing it on a single organ, which, let's remember, is not a magic button.

Video: 5 misconceptions about sexuality

Video by Clara Poudevigne