Why shouldn’t you expose your children on social networks?

Sharenting, contraction of “share” (sharing) and “parenting” (being a parent) in English, is the term used to designate the fact of sharing photos of your children on social networks in an excessive way. According to a study by cybersecurity firm McAfee in 2018, 24% of parents post a photo or video of their child on social media at least once a day and a quarter of them do so more than four times a day. Yet they are well aware of the risks involved such as pedophilia (48%), harassment (37%), kidnappings (28%) and cyber-bullying (31%). “ It would be interesting to transpose the way in which we take care of the child to the adult: we would not allow ourselves to post photos of the members of our entourage on social networks without their authorization, so why do we not measure what this means for his child? », asks Joanna Smith, clinical psychologist specializing in questions of intimacy, author of the restorative power of your brain (Dunod, 2021). And for good reason, it is the child’s digital identity that is at stake, he has the right to respect for his private life like everyone else.

Exposing your children on social networks: what does the law say?

If there is no law concerning exposure on social networks at the present time, article 9 of the Civil Code, relating to image rights, may apply. Concretely, this means that parents are responsible for the image rights of their children until they reach majority, so they have the right to publish photos of themselves. But they could sue their parents later. In France, the publication of a snapshot of a person without their consent is punishable by one year’s imprisonment and a fine of 45,000 euros according to article 226-1 of the Penal Code.

Since October 19, 2020, the activity of children under 16 whose image is broadcast on online video platforms is regulated by law. Parents must now seek individual authorization or approval from the administration before shooting their children or broadcasting their videos.

We do not measure the inconvenience of living through photos and videos rather than enjoying the present moment.

The child, an enhancement tool for the parent

First night, first steps, first words, first tooth… if it is perfectly legitimate to want to immortalize moments of life with your children, disclosing them excessively on social networks reflects a need, conscious or not, to value yourself through their exploits. By posting photos of her children in their best light, we try to prove to our virtual community that we are a fulfilled mother who ensures on all fronts. But isn’t this attitude indicative of a certain narcissistic fragility the parent who desperately seeks validation from others?
The more the photos are liked and commented on, the more the parent feels proud. “This is one of the immediate consequences of sharenting: some families live a lot through social networks. However, we do not measure the inconvenience of living through photos and videos rather than enjoying the present moment. This behavior is harmful for the identity of the child who, instead of being in the relationship with the other here and now, risks being built according to the number of likes and comments. The danger is to disconnect, not to feel what is really important to us and to need the gaze of others to feel that we exist.denounces Joanna Smith.

Think about future consequences

Beyond the immediate consequences of sharenting, the impact on the future life of the child must be taken into account. “Before posting a photo of their child on the Internet, the parent should ask themselves what it could do to them, especially when they grow up and are old enough to understand. Knowing that photos of him have been released can cause stress and anxiety. Not only might he feel uncomfortable, but his classmates might use them to hurt or harass him. As a parent, you should not minimizing the risks you take, in particular by transposing them to real life: would I distribute this photo or this video of my child in the mailboxes of strangers? Am I ready for anyone to do anything with this photo or video of my child? », argues the clinical psychologist. Not to mention that malicious people prowl on social networks and that they could publish montages of these photos on pornographic sites, image banks, advertisements… Privacy remains precious, but once the photos are found on the Internet, we no longer control the use that is made of it.

How to protect your children on social networks?

However, social media should not be demonized. By adopting a few good reflexes, we can share a few shots from time to time. For example, you can blur the faces of your children or cover them with a smiley so that they are not identifiable. We also make sure to deactivate geolocation so that they cannot be found. Restricting your account is also a good option. : by making our pictures accessible to the close circle, we limit the risk of misappropriation. Finally, if the child is old enough to understand, we can ask for his agreement before publishing a photo of him. This shows him that we respect his image rights while teaching him to set limits. Because let’s not forget that our children are part of mimicry: if they see us with our smartphone in hand all the time, they risk imitating us later. It will then be complicated or even impossible to forbid them from exposing themselves on the web since we will have shown them the opposite throughout their childhood. In the end, why not create a private group chat where you can safely share photos? As the saying goes, “to live happily, live hidden”.

Julie Giorgetta

Journalist specializing in health and well-being (health, nutrition, pregnancy/baby, psycho and sex themes), Julie Giorgetta is a graduate of La Sorbonne and the Ecole Supérieure de Journalisme de Paris. In …