The traffic light coalition argues, but makes for beautiful pictures. She tries it with happy music and groovy slogans – but finally has to present solutions to a desperate country.
Schloss Meseberg: This is a kind of Heidepark Soltau of politics, a feel-good place, a shower for the dreary everyday life, with lots of sugar and fat, pastel colors in the hardened light of the early autumn sun, good humor and happy funk.
Wireless? Yes, Funk: So that political communication doesn’t have to be based on Scholz’s charisma again, she published a video with brisk cuts and the kind of music that you can find in sound databases if you search for terms like “upbeat” and “audience must stay awake”.
There is no doubt that the federal government wants to jovialize us out of the low mood. Unfortunately, according to Forsa, only a minority currently believes in the state’s ability to act. The gas levy is the first huge belly flop by the otherwise beaming Federal Minister Robert Habeck.
The cucumber troupe should hook one another
The SPD pounced on its government colleagues like hyenas on a stumbled Labrador: “The Habeck principle works like this: performances ready for film, technical implementation questionable and in the end the citizen pays for it”, Group Vice Dirk Wiese hissed.
The nagging reminded many commentators of Angela Merkel’s only dream coalition, black and yellow, which back then, in 2010, referred to one another as “cucumber troops” (CSU over the FDP) and “wild boar” (FDP over the CSU). Habeck undauntedly and expressly praised the chancellor in Meseberg – style is really not the end of the broom.
In any case, everything is harmonious again: Scholz once again encouraged “hooking”, the FDP celebrated Volker Wissing with the same enthusiasm that only parents normally give their child to a seahorse. In return, the liberals are even enriching the Federal Republic with a new political slogan: “Wissing works”, i.e.: #Wissing works. “Wyld, Digga!”, you want to shout.
Digital strategy: push car instead of Concorde
Why not, this esprit could easily be extended to a kind of government marketing: I’m looking forward to #Lindnerlindert, #Hubertusheilt, #StarkWatzinger… – well, maybe it won’t work with everyone. The author of a column that was almost called “Wieduwilt’s Wild Week” might prefer to be quiet here anyway.
However, in order for Volker Wissing to become the new traffic light favorite, he has to kick. The digital and transport minister ranks on the charisma scale more with Scholz than with Habeck. In terms of content, it doesn’t look much better. With the long-debated “digital strategy”, he has to present the political Concorde, which is more of an old push-car: you sit on it and make powerful movements, but there is no drive. Instead: Goals, ambitions, “beacons” and “levers”, many now-but-really-mantras. “Oh, that’s right: digitization!”, the “time” moans.
Nevertheless, Wissing should “take place”, as it is called in German for political advice. Because the more celebrity heads a governing party has, the more points it can score. Communicating in distributed roles is something the traffic light is good at anyway: Scholz had Lindner announce his tax break and now Lindner is letting Wissing work.
Just take the money from the rich
The men are enthusiastic: “I was able to convince Christian Lindner of a follow-up ticket,” announces Wissing, “Volker Wissing convinced me,” announces Lindner. It all seems as elegant as C-3PO and Chewbacca at their first tango lesson, but Habeck doesn’t just fall from the sky.
The public pain over the end of the 9-euro ticket was indeed enormous. It roughly corresponds to the outbreak of war in Europe – which is why so-called celebrities get together again for an “open letter” to the chancellor: Germany should get the ticket, you just take the money from the rich – like that!
I am now waiting for Helene Fischer, Oliver Pocher and Tim Raue to speak out against the extended operation of the nuclear power plants. After all, electricity does not come from the atom, but from the socket – it’s as simple as that.
After the elections, the people have a break
How refreshingly unpopulist Annalena Baerbock presents herself: The Green Foreign Minister does her thing, she doesn’t just care about open letters, she doesn’t care about the will of the voters either. The government supports Ukraine, “no matter what my German voters think,” she said. Incidentally, she said “my German voters”, not “the German voters”, as has often been misquoted. In terms of constitutional law, she is spot on, because governments are elected by the people, and then the latter has a four-year break – so that politicians don’t have to deal with the stupid mechanics of heated election campaigns.
Now the federal government wants to cut through the really big knot: Above all, it has to defuse the gas surcharge. However, it is a bit like after a large group meal after a sumptuous meal, where everyone is waiting for someone else to start fumbling for their wallets first. Because just like the costs of the 9-euro ticket, the compensation for the allocation may also end up with the taxpayer.
Perhaps it would be better to go to the rich energy companies with an excess profit tax, which is then simply called something else, so that the FDP can save face? Then the money just has to get to the people. However, the Federal Minister of Finance announced contritely that it would take 18 months to merge the tax number and IBAN, and that only 100,000 transfers per day would be possible. The German technological deficit – also a kind of debt brake.
Residual identity debt brake
Speaking of which: the FDP must not celebrate its remaining identity with a softening of the (real) debt brake, especially in times of rising interest rates. At the same time, Wissing has to score because otherwise #Wissing will choke. So what is needed now is an ultimate compromise in an emergency – which actually calls for uncompromising action.
If the traffic light succeeds, I only have one request after #WissingWirkt: Don’t tweet “At Scholz – it’s rolling”. The slogan belongs to a Saxon forwarding company.