In his book From soul mate to Tinder, released on January 26 by Editions Larousse, the philosopher Eliette Abécassis asks the question of amorous passion: has it been pushed towards the exit by social networks and dating applications?
From “Bridget Jones” to “On the Road to Madison” via “Call Me By Your Name”, you list many films that tell love stories. What responsibility do fictions bear in our collective vision of love?
I am passionate about romantic comedies from the 1950s to the present day. Seeing lately La La Land and A Star is Born, I thought it was the end of romantic comedies. These films develop the idea of a conflict between love and career. The characters will pursue their personal dreams rather than abandoning themselves to a romantic relationship that will not last anyway. It occurred to me that there was a kind of disenchantment with love today. Films are reflections of customs and times. These are not lies.
Love comes with love myths. As a philosopher, I observe myths. We have gone from Plato’s myth of the androgyne, which haunted the whole West, to another myth, that of personal development. This tells us that, ultimately, our happiness depends on us and not on others. We are not half of a whole, as explained by the myth of the androgyne. Today, we must seek our happiness within ourselves and not elsewhere. It is these mythologies, developed in films in particular, which will influence morals and feelings.
How did we switch from one myth to another?
Love has become rationalized and commercialized. Those are the two major changes. Passion is seen as something irrational and negative, which does not last long. This rationalization of love comes in part from social networks, and in particular from dating applications, because we are asked to give criteria that will define our profile in order to select a profile that will match ours. It is a rationalization of our desire.
The problem is that of the flow. We accustom our mind, even from a cognitive point of view, to being in front of a flow of people. The expression is no longer “one lost, ten found”, it is “one lost, 10,000 found”. It is the era of the multiplicity of choices that kills choice and desire.
In your opinion, do dating app algorithms waste opportunities for true love?
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