Mom fail
did you yell at your kid? 3 steps to damage control
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Happens to all of us: We yell at our child even though we really don’t want to. You should do that afterwards.
The child bucks and dawdles, doesn’t want to eat anything sensible and won’t put the damn cell phone down – honestly, haven’t you ever gotten loud? You wouldn’t be alone with that. In a study of 1,000 parents, the University of New Hampshire found that 90 percent of moms and dads yell at their child when they get stuck.
None of us are perfect, but we should own up to our mistakes
No matter how positive, relaxed, and loving we may be with our children, there are times when we get loud, unfair, and say things we shouldn’t say. Then we feel relieved for a moment, but above all terribly – terribly guilty.
But parenting isn’t about being perfect. It’s about recognizing and admitting your own mistakes – and about the will to make amends.
3 things that can make up for yelling
The American psychologist Ariadne Brill has developed three steps with which we can reconnect with our child and at the same time show him how to deal with feelings such as anger and anger without becoming destructive. If we take the time to take the following three steps, it will positively influence our relationship with the child, says the expert:
- Rewind: Acknowledge that you said something hurtful or mean.
- Repair: sorry for that What and how you said it
- To repeat: Try explaining to your child what you want again, but this time in a friendly way and with the intention of reconnecting with them.
When and why do we get loud?
Brill also advises being aware of when and why we yell. Maybe it’s the constant postponement of homework, the never-ending mess on the sofa, the mess, annoying the sibling, dawdling… and when the car goes on strike and the mountains of laundry skyrocket, the everyday barrel overflows.
In order to prevent this, it is also important to be nice to ourselves and – if possible – to take breaks from everyday stress from time to time. Because even if we are not perfect, it helps our children if we treat them lovingly as often as possible. Then even the ugly moments in life together cannot harm them much.
Source: Positive Parenting Connection