During a conference on education, organized by CAF de la Vienne, on October 12, educational psychologist Bruno Humbeeck returned to the subject of hyper-parenting. For him, parents have the right to be imperfect. Decryption.
It is a subject which concerns more people than one thinks, thehyper-parenting. This tendency of parents to want to always doing too much for their children, to achieve a kind of ultimate perfection and happiness. This concept comes from educational psychologist Bruno Humbeeck. On the occasion of a conference on education, organized by the Vienne Family Allowance Fund at the Student House, on October 12, the expert returned to the subject at length.
In front of him, hundreds of parents were present, with lots of questions in mind. All admitted to being under pressure, reports The New Republictarget = “_ blank”>. For Bruno Humbeeck, the “social competition” and the repeated confinements got the better of them. “Education has become terribly demanding: we summon our unborn child and ‘we’ have to make it happy, the pressure of society on education is important and there is the fear of a feeling of downgrading. his child. We already know that he has an eight out of ten chances of obtaining a less important job than his parents. “, he says.
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The risks associated with hyper-parenting
Hyper-parenting seems at first glance a benevolent behavior, and yet it harms the child but also the parent. Bruno Humbeeck mentions, among other things, the risk of “deterioration of the relationship between parent and child“. In fgeneral, “parents do not understand that children can make decisions by and for themselves without it being against the parents”, he said at the microphone of France Intertarget = “_ blank”>.
This constant pressure, which they put on and transfer to their cherubim, can lead toexhaustion, of stress or even a burn out, for both parties. On the other hand, in the most fragile parents the risk ofhypo-parenthood can develop. “Since I can’t do it, I withdraw, I resign!”.
For the expert, hyper-parents fall into three categories: “helicopter parents”, who constantly fly over their children, “drone parents”, who protect excessively, and “curling parents” who are interfering in the life of their offspring to influence it positively.
“Fail for oneself and one’s children”
To counter these extremes and these damages, Bruno Humbeeck talks about the importance of renouncing perfection, of allowing oneself to fail. “Quitting being a good parent makes good sense, yes. We suppose you need successful parents. But no, you need peaceful parents. We have the right to be imperfect. And it is in this imperfection that children can build themselves“, he assures.