3 Seemingly Harmless Things Parents Do That Can Actually Be Toxic

Parenting encompasses multiple aspects of parental function, combining material, psychological, moral, cultural and social dimensions. It is a very complex process that shapes the relationship between parents and children. Parenting sometimes involves sacrifices such as lack of sleep, time and putting aside emotions to respond to the needs of children. However, it is essential to question our behavior as parents to avoid toxic attitudes for our children. Some bad habitseven unintentional, can be harmful and need to be identified and corrected.

It sometimes happens that, without wanting to and without being aware of it, certain parents adopt toxic behaviors for their children, thus endangering their well-being and their flourishing. Toxic parenting refers to a style of parenting characterized by harmful, abusive or neglectful behavior towards children. This can include forms of physical, emotional, verbal abuse, or a lack of adequate attention and support. Toxic parenting can have serious consequences on children’s emotional and psychological development.

Educational habits that we thought were harmless

Nika Diwa, is a “mumfluencer”, a renowned influencer on TikTok. She openly shares her family life and advocates love through social media. Her @nikadiwa account has more than 3 million subscribers, attracting a large audience. The young woman, mother of two little girls named Zizi and Zuri, recently shared a video discussing the delicate subject for not being your child’s best friend. This seemingly innocuous publication raises important questions about parental roles and the importance of establishing healthy boundaries in the parent-child relationship for harmonious development.

As a mother, Nika Diwa explained that she refuses to let her daughter watch YouTube because of the inappropriate content for toddlers. Despite her child’s annoyance, Nika considers that it is his responsibility as an adult to protect him and ensure his well-being. “ You’re not supposed to be your child’s best friend, you’re supposed to be their parent” she declared in one of her videos. Nika Diwa also rightly pointed out that “Our role is not to please our children. Our role is to protect and love them“. This statement perfectly highlights the importance for parents to prioritize protection and unconditional love for their children rather than seeking at all costs to be loved by them.

Signs of toxic parenting to watch closely

Alex Howard is the creator of therapeutic coaching. He is also the founder of The Optimum Health Clinic and of Conscious Life, a prolific author and recognized influencer. With a community of 60,200 followers on Instagram and 175,500 followers on TikTok, Alex Howard shares his expertise through more than 1,077 posts on childhood trauma, well-being and mental health children but also toxic parenting. “ In a toxic parental relationship, the child’s emotional needs are often not met because the toxic parent is preoccupied with meeting their own needs », he explains to us. It identifies three harmful habits which can lead to toxic parenting. Here they are.

First we must understand that in a toxic parental relationship, the parent puts their own needs first, relegating the child’s feelings and experiences to the background. This self-centered attitude can lead to emotional imbalance in the child. Then it is essential to realize that the fact of deny the child’s emotions when he expresses them could be considered a form of emotional violence. This invalidation of the child’s feelings can lead to long-term psychological problems. Manipulating the child’s perception by forcing him or her to adopt the parent’s point of view can be a form of emotional coercion. This practice can limit the child’s ability to develop their own identity and self-esteem. And finally lack of clear boundaries and educational framework can cause a feeling of insecurity in the child, leaving him without guidance and structure. Healthy boundaries help establish a safe environment for the child and promote their emotional and social development. To avoid passing on these toxic behaviors, it is crucial to step back and think carefully about your words and actions as a parent. This awareness allows you to cultivate a healthy and caring relationship with your child.

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