Rest up there!
5 sentences with which you can silence your inner critic
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He often comes to visit to give his opinion without being asked. Unfortunately, he is also very persistent, likes to spread out and does not like being slowed down. He is actually just a con man that we should urgently silence: our inner critic.
by Lena Selinger
Hello, may I introduce: your inner critic
Each of us knows it, the voice in our head that always comes around the corner with the same beliefs when we least need it:
- “Leave it alone, you won’t be able to do this alone anyway.”
- “You’re just too stupid for that.”
- “What’s wrong with you?”
- “No wonder you have no friends.”
- “You’re a failure all along the line.”
Our inner critic is the negative voice within us that looks pessimistic into the future, likes to talk badly and whose favorite color is black, with which it beautifully decorates everything that is not on the trees with three. It is not external criticism, it is we ourselves who torment ourselves with inappropriate thoughts. Often when changes are pending or decisions have to be made. Then our head likes to dig out old mistakes, stir up fears and trample on our self-esteem. Not only does this not help, it slows us down. In the vast majority of cases, it is just a pipe dream that has absolutely nothing in common with reality.
Can you finally be quiet now, please?
Discussing for hours with yourself and your inner critic is usually not productive. It is best not to let him have a long word in the first place, but rather to soothe him at the first hint of self-criticism by telling him briefly:
- “I know you want to take care of me and protect me from disappointment, but you don’t have to, I can handle it.”
- “Thank you for explaining the situation to me from your perspective. But I see it differently.”
- “I know that you have fears and fears. But let’s look at it realistically.”
- “My parents always said that to me too, but that is long out of date.”
Or you take it to your chest and ask:
- “Who says I can’t do it anyway?”
Actually, he just wants to protect us
Our inner critic is actually a nice guy. Because he only says all these things that he tells us because he wants to protect us. From disappointments, from mistakes, from dangers. He is born from learned patterns and beliefs that need to be questioned when he suddenly becomes very loud and has to comment on every opportunity. So it is all the more important to show it within its limits and to regularly carry out a reality check, whether what our brain imagines up there really has hand and foot, or whether it is just hot air. If you can’t do it so well on your own, exchanging ideas with friends can help you to take a different perspective. But be careful: some people have their own inner critic speaking very loudly. So take a good look who can support you and who might make you even smaller.