Warn therapists
6 underestimated parenting mistakes that cause mental harm
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As a parent you can do a lot right – but also a lot wrong. At Reddit.com, therapists have now warned against underestimated mistakes made by parents that can have far-reaching psychological consequences for children.
6 mistakes in upbringing that harm the child's psyche
Inconsistency triggers fears
The therapists all agree on one thing: Consistency seems to be the key to stable development. Because this teaches children that actions have consequences they can rely on: "If children repeat behavior, good or bad, the parents' reaction should be the same. Inconsistency fuels fears," writes a therapist on Reddit.
Embarrass children
Criticism is important – as long as it is appropriate. However, if children are too often criticized, beaten down or even exposed by their parents for incomprehensible reasons, the upbringing has an impact on self-confidence. "Sometimes it can make them think they don't deserve to be happy or to be treated with respect. And a person who doesn't take care of themselves is very dangerous," writes one therapist.
Take out anger on the child
Everyone is in a bad mood. However, if you take this out on your own children for no reason, they will not understand the behavior of their parents. The later self-confidence suffers as a result.
Underestimate emotional abuse
"Physical abuse is terrible, but it is the emotional abuse (manipulation, passive aggressiveness, exposure) that really breaks children," writes another therapist. He points out that disagreements can of course arise – but as a parent you should Always make it clear that it is the behavior that displeases them, not the child themselves. Children should always feel loved and safe despite arguments.
From the pressure to succeed in burnout
There is a fine line between your own ambition and expectations. If parents use their children to help achieve their own dreams, or if they want them to always be the best, it is easy to put them under pressure. "As they get older, they become burned out or suicidal if they fail to meet their parents' expectations," warns a therapist.
Ignore the child
Yes, sometimes parental life is tough. Yes, sometimes you have the feeling that you are too busy with your own life. No, you should never ignore your child anyway. It is normal for children to be annoying sometimes and parents to be overwhelmed. But they need and deserve attention. One therapist therefore sees the biggest mistake as "ignoring children for their own self-related reasons". Even with problems, it is better to spend time with your child than to be too afraid of mistakes: "I am not perfect and no parent should think that something it has done will destroy the child forever. ”Any mistake (apart from abuse of any kind) is therefore still better than avoiding it and thus the child out of fear. The solution? For the therapist it is very simple: "I show her my love continuously and she sits on my lap while I write this".