The libertines do not necessarily make love at twelve, in dedicated clubs and behind three cameras. Let’s break the received ideas around this way of sex life and let’s go behind the scenes of debauchery, the real one! Our advice with JOYclub, a social network for adults which is coming to France.
Born in 2005 in Germany, the adult dating site JOYclub arrives this year in France. And it is expected! Why ? Because JOYclub defends a fulfilling, free and happy sexuality. For this, the famous social network advocates libertinism. And contrary to popular belief, libertinism has nothing to do with hyperactive, decadent or plural sexuality. Libertinism is simply a space for oneself, within which we invite the people and the sexual practices that we sing about. The opportunity, therefore, to break the received ideas that weigh on this way of sexual life.
Misconception 1: libertinism is reserved for couples
First received idea which has the very hard life: one imagines that libertinism is a sexual practice of couple. It’s wrong. This is false because it is not a sexual practice but a way of life in which we have the choice to integrate pleasant practices (swinging, candaulism, but also erotic games in duet or solo…). Thus, since debauchery is a state of mind, there is no question that it is reserved for a certain amorous configuration. A woman can be libertine… and single! At that moment, and because she listens to her desires and her pleasure, she will initiate meetings, discover practices with certain people, explore virtual sex with charming strangers or, again, decide to have a good time alone.
Misconception 2: libertines dare everything and make love all the time
When we think of libertines, we generally think of “couples focused on sex”. However, as we have seen, libertinism is not the prerogative of couples. But above all, libertinism does not encourage making love every hour by testing billions of pirouettes and incredible practices. We can be libertines and lead a sexuality after all classic, with a sexual desire that comes and goes, a curiosity that takes vacations and outbursts that never succeed. Because no, libertines do not test all the practices that exist but the practices that attract them at a specific time and in a specific context. Understand by this: it is not about making love anytime, anyhow and with anyone. In reality, each libertine experience is discussed, framed, organized, a bit like organizing a picnic: we decide together the atmosphere, what we are going to eat or not, and we respect each other.
Misconception 3: to be libertines, you have to like BDSM, swinging, clubs …
We tend to confuse libertinism with several types of practices such as swinging or BDSM. BDSM, for “Bondage and Discipline, Domination and Submission, Sadism and Masochism”, is defined by a set of practices that invite domination and submission, but also coercion and pain. And since the success of the Fifty Shades of Gray saga, everyone has had a vague idea. Only, when one is libertine, one does not necessarily pull out the whip, the handcuffs and the whip. The sexual act does not necessarily involve role plays and power struggles, just as the accessories do not have to be there. To think that yes, it is therefore to be mistaken, in the same way that one confuses libertinism and swinging: “exchanging” one’s partner for a sexual relation is a practice of libertinism, but the libertinism does not oblige to practice the swinging (and threesomes, voyeurism, etc.), just as it does not require going to a swingers club! In short, we put what we want in his debauchery!
Misconception 4: libertinism is synonymous with infidelity
When libertinism is a way of life as a couple, it means that the couple has chosen to live their sexuality as well. Curious and accomplice, he is therefore open to new experiences as a duo or in groups, with a single watchword: consent. This means that partners never force each other, and that individual desires take precedence. And it also means that infidelity has nothing to do with it, since the couple is not hiding anything. We could speak of infidelity when a partner despite himself goes beyond the limits and then gets lost in romantic feelings for another person, while the initial contract was simply carnal.
Misconception 5: libertines are bisexual
It is not because libertinism proposes to make love to several that the libertine person is bisexual. Some libertines are heterosexual, others bisexual, others pansexual. Others still do not ask the question so much, assuming that pleasure is the central point of the meeting! It is therefore sharing and discovery that triumph, and libertines can quite open up to new sexualities during certain experiences, without necessarily seeking to define their sexual orientation at all costs. The libertinism is precisely against the boxes.
Misconception 6: libertinism is for young people
Because libertinism evokes, in fact, freedom, we imagine that it is better to be young and enthusiastic to practice it. As if, from a certain age, it was too late. But the good news is that there are no rules about it: everyone does what they want. At fifty, sixty years old, debauchery can even awaken a sleeping sexuality! And it is not because we did not grow up with the Internet that we cannot initiate some online dating and start with a little virtual sex. So forget the calendars, forget the preconceived ideas, and create your own debauchery!
Article produced in partnership with JOYClub
www.joyclub.fr
Caroline Michel
Caroline Michel is a journalist in psycho sexo and author. Passionate, she enjoys dissecting everyday life and looking for the right words (which she hopes to find often). She is the author of …