Education has long since not only protected against unwanted pregnancies and illnesses. It has social relevance because it is about equality. The most important things we should teach our children about sex are these things.
A wooden penis, a condom, about thirty giggling students and a biology teacher who wanted to get the subject of sex education across the stage as quickly as possible – this is roughly what sex education classes were like in the 1990s. Dr. taken over summer. Most parents were uncomfortable with the topic, and very few of us even talked to them about such topics. No wonder that even today so many of us walk around the world with little knowledge about our genitals and sex. Our children grow up differently. instead of dr In the summer, porn takes over the educational work. Unfortunately, that doesn’t make half-knowledge better, on the contrary. It’s no longer just about sex, but above all about boundaries, self-confidence and body awareness. And because we want to strengthen our children, these topics also belong at the kitchen table:
1. No means no!
First things first: no matter who is getting intimate with whom and what situation you are in: if someone says no, you stop. Far too often, a no is ignored—the first time, the second, the third, and the fourth. We have to teach our children that nobody has power over their bodies, that nobody can take this power, that we have to defend ourselves against those who think they can help themselves. All too often, women and girls in particular simply join in because their no is ignored or they don’t dare to say something. Instead, they prefer to let it get to them. That’s terrible! That’s why we not only have to empower our girls to stand up for themselves, but above all to sensitize our sons.
2. What’s happening down there?
What happens in our body during ovulation, periods, morning wood and ejaculation? What are the individual genitals called, what do they look like and how is a baby born? None of this should be discussed behind closed doors and with bees and flowers, but openly and without shame, because there is nothing that anyone should be ashamed of. Especially not us women, although our whole intimate area suggests that. But that will only get better when we parents start to shed our own shame, look at it together down there and talk tacheles. Vulva, vulval lips, clitoris, penis, testicles, fallopian tubes, uterus, urethra, ejaculation, anus, foreskin, glans… The more relaxed we are about the topic, the easier it is for our children to ask questions. And that’s what we want to be: first point of contact, right?
3. Hairy affair
yikes What is that sprouting? Baldness on all parts of the body has become so normal that our children are ashamed when a hair or two suddenly appears during puberty. If we were still proud of the first armpit hair, today everything is quickly shaved clean again. At least we women seem to be born with a razor, men are far less ashamed and just let it grow, while for us it is still an unhygienic no-go and super unsexy to have hair anywhere other than on your head. And meanwhile we have become so used to this ideal of beauty that the normal is abnormal. At the same time, everyone should be able to decide for themselves whether, how and where something is shaved, plucked or waxed without having to be ashamed when it comes to the point. But it’s only by normalizing body hair that our children have any choice in how they want to wear their hair.
4. Talking about porn
It’s banging like there’s no tomorrow. The man shoves his penis into every orifice of the woman, while she lets everything be done to her and also thinks it’s really good to have his best piece in her throat until she vomits. And otherwise it’s almost exclusively about penetration and ejaculation. Unfortunately, porn has now arrived in schoolyards and is taking over what Dr. Sommer did, only unfortunately completely wrong. We prefer not to start with power structures and misogyny. But that is precisely why it is so important that we as parents take countermeasures and explain how sexuality really works. And that is certainly not just in-out-in-out at the pace of competitive sports.
5. Equality in bed too
Sex is not a one-way street that ends in a dead end when it has come. Women also have the right to have their needs met. We parents lay the foundation for daring to express this by breaking the taboo on the subject of sexuality and getting it out of its sleazy corner. You don’t have to go into detail, of course, but by encouraging your children to talk about things that are sometimes uncomfortable, they deal with such topics more openly and, above all, dare to ask questions.
6. Contraception is not just for women
Unfortunately, contraception is still the responsibility of women. Besides the condom and sterilization, there is nothing the man can do while we manipulate our bodies with hormones and have things inserted in the vagina, at our own great expense of course. It should be self-evident that contraception is given as equally as possible and that costs and responsibility are shared.
7. We all look different
They don’t exist, the standard breast, the standard vagina, nor the standard penis. Each part of the body is unique, larger, smaller, straight, crooked, full, pointed, asymmetrical. Unfortunately, this is so seldom shown that we often believe that we are lacking if something about us does not correspond to the ideal, which is still too often made out to us in films, porn and advertising. Hardly anyone actually looks like that. It is all the more important to convey a healthy body image and to explain to our children that everything about them is good.