8 Common Myths You Need to Stop Believing ASAP

Sexuality occupies a prominent place in the private life of the majority of people, and yet, it still suffers from many prejudices. These are often caused by the presence of still important taboos, which hinder communication around themes related to sex. Result: we can easily take these myths for realities, for lack of counterpoint. The problem is that these prejudices can prevent you from building a fulfilling and happy sex life. This is often the source of many of the most frequently asked questions to sexologists in offices.

These preconceived ideas can create complexes for us whatever our gender, generate frustrations and prevent us from enjoying the moment the way we would like. What must be understood, even before reestablishing the truth about these stubborn myths, is that in all cases, there is no one “right” way to make love. We’re all someone’s good and bad, and our anatomy can’t help it. In the same way, each person appreciates different practices from his neighbour. No two sex lives are alike, and all are normal: as long as consent is absolute and conscious, of course.

A fulfilled couple makes love several times a week

This is one of the concerns most often heard by sexologists in their practice. Many people think that to have a fulfilling sex life as a couple, you have to make love at least 2 or 3 times a week. Less would be boring, or lacking in libido, in short, not being normal. And yet it is nothing. If indeed some couples have a very close relationship rhythm, this is far from being the case for all, and it is no less normal. Each couple has the rhythm that suits them, and you don’t have to force yourself to enter what is supposed to be the most common. Especially since the real figures are far from the 3 weekly reports: according to a study carried out in 2018 on 28,000 men and women, the French would make love on average 5 times a month.

Without penetration, it’s not really sex.

We often tend to limit sexual intercourse to penetration. Yet it is only one of the many practices that can compose it. Penetration has nothing to do with a finality. This prejudice stems a lot from the terminology: foreplay, for example, sounds like very secondary acts. Yet cunilungus, oral sex or even the very taboo rimming are sexual practices in the same way as sacrosanct penetration. Sometimes, even in a heterosexual couple, both women and men may not want the latter, and that’s normal. Do not force yourself to practice it, and enjoy your leg part in the air without penetration, just as legitimately.

If you need lube, you’re not really horny

Lack of natural lubrication can happen to all women at any time of life. Whether it’s naturally at certain times of the menstrual cycle, during hormonal drops, because of stress, menopause, or even just because you haven’t drunk enough water during the day: dozens of reasons exist to explain vaginal dryness. In addition, if the report lasts a long time, the natural lubrication can also decrease, which will not mean a lack of arousal either. Lubricant is often the best ally for comfortable and painless sex for everyone. A must to always have in your bedside table.

If there is no orgasm, it is useless

As the saying goes, it’s not the destination that matters, but the path you take to get there. This has never been so true as in the case of sexuality! Admittedly, an orgasm is always welcome, but it is not essential for a report to be successful. Sometimes we take advantage of the moment and the excitement wanes. In this case, as always, do not force yourself, but that doesn’t take anything away from the good time you’ve just had two!

Some women are vaginal and some are clitoral

This myth has a hard life! Knowing your body is often the key to a fulfilling sexuality, and for many women, the anatomy of the clitoris, far from a simple “button”, is still rather mysterious. The myth of clitoral and vaginal orgasms was made popular by Sigmond Freud. He considered that a healthy orgasm could only be vaginal, and given by penetration. For him, women who enjoyed clitoral stimulation were like immature little girls.

However, in addition to the sexism inherent in these remarks, these two “types” of orgasms are in fact clitoral. Whether by direct external stimulation, or internal, via the penetration and stimulation of the famous G-spot. The latter actually corresponds to the junction of the internal bulbs of the clitoris. Some women, too sensitive at the glans of the clitoris, will enjoy the internal stimulation instead, but this is also a clitoral orgasm.

To only love the missionary is to be a bad shot

We can never say it enough, when it comes to sexuality, the most important thing is to practice what you love. Small bridge, standing 69, waterfall… not everyone wants to go for the most athletic or even crazy positions of the Kamasutra. And that does not prevent having a fully fulfilled sex life for both members of the couple. So don’t pressure yourselfsex is not an addictive course, and above all, it is not a competition.

The size is the most important

You should know that the vagina is only 10 centimeters deep on average! Even more: the most erogenous zone of the vagina is located near its entrance. In the context of a heterosexual relationship (as for others for that matter) having a large penis is therefore not very useful. In France, the average penis size is 13.4 centimeters when erect: but it is quite possible to be a very good shot with smaller, and a very bad one with larger. Especially since penetration is, once again, not the only criterion that comes into play.

The longer the better

No, a good sexual intercourse does not necessarily last at least 20 minutes as we sometimes hear. Just because the report is longer doesn’t mean it will be more satisfying. And above all, when we talk about sexuality, appetite does not come with eating, on the contrary, forcing yourself can clearly reduce cravings.

In France, the average sexual intercourse has been calculated around 5.4 minutes, and according to the polls the duration of the ideal part of legs in the air would be between 7 and 13 minutes. Prolonging the act for the principle can be a very bad idea. With friction, if the natural lubrication fades, irritation may appear, and sometimes remain for several days. In the same way, for a good sexual intercourse, you don’t need particularly fast or strong thrusts, they will not be more pleasant. Communicate, and go to the rhythms that please you, one or the other.