9 resolutions that are funnier than losing weight


Stop smoking …
9 resolutions that are funnier than losing weight

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Also no longer in the mood for self-fooling like "this year I can do the 10 kilos"? We neither! So now we have much better things planned for 2020 …

by Marie Stadler

1. Rediscover the times after midnight

When was the last time we had a doner kebab at three o'clock in the morning or put a frozen pizza in the oven for you? It's time for a revival …

2. Introduce a family dance

Every stupid startup does team building. Why not rehearse a weird dance move as a family? Helps out of most crazy disputes quickly. By the way, goes without children.

3. Buy a board or card game again

Because it's really fun to discover a new game. It's easy to forget in everyday life. Editor's tips: Hold it a minute, werewolves, wizards, Cluedo and for the toughest ones: Cards against Humanity.

4. Go to the swimming pool and sauna every week like a pensioner

You don't have to have time, you have to take it. And looking around in the sauna is also funnier than Netflixen when in doubt. Especially when they are retired. At least that's how we imagine it. And hopefully at some point it will be possible again.

5. Spend more time in libraries (alternatively, only books are available at first)

Because it is so sacred and because then you immediately find yourself much smarter, which helps with the next point, namely:

6. Finding yourself pretty awesome, even with 10 pounds more

Because studies have shown that it makes you very happy to think of yourself as great. Completely regardless of whether you are really that great. So a little megalomania will do us great in 2020.

7. Sleep longer, take a shorter shower (and while we're on the water: DO NOT PRE-RINSE!)

Because sleep (yes, even 5 minutes!) Is the ultimate guarantee of happiness and long in the shower is simply no longer possible in 2020 for environmental reasons alone. Incidentally, you will save even more time for all the beautiful things in this world if you put your dishes in the dishwasher as dirty as they are. It can do that. Reducing the proportion of “pre-washers” in Germany by only 5% could save more than 760 million liters of water per year – which, figuratively speaking, corresponds to the total amount from Wannsee per year. And if "washing less" isn't a great resolution, then we don't know either …

8. Try some totally crazy new positions in bed

Ever heard of the Horny Unicorn? No? Then it's about time, guys … If it's not great, at least trying it out is fun. Either way, the unicorn ultimately promises fun in bed.

9. Stop whining

Because that's absolutely the best resolution you can ever make anyway. Whoever complains less is healthier, happier, more popular and we would not be surprised if you gradually become 10 kilos lighter.