Difficulty in making decisions? If there is not FOBO behind it … What is meant by that, why decision problems affect more and more people and why they seriously affect our lives, we will clarify everything here.
Whether choosing our job, what we are going to have for dinner or shopping: life always confronts us with decisions. Some are serious and have long-term consequences, others are less significant and forgotten after a day. However, they have one thing in common: Most of the time we make decisions For very little – and automatically against very much. Because by choosing one option, we are discarding all the others that are available to us, at least for now. That in turn is one of the reasons why more and more people are feeling FOBO, a sometimes crippling fear of making decisions.
What is FOBO?
FOBO, like FOMO ("Fear Of Missing Out"), which is related not only conceptually but also in terms of content, is an acronym and stands for "Fear Of Better Options". What is actually meant by the term is not the fear of the options themselves: FOBO is the fear or inability to make a decision because of the risk of not choosing the best option or of discarding better options. The proverbial "agony of choice" represents an insurmountable obstacle for those afflicted with FOBO.
The name was coined by the same person to whom we owe the term FOMO, the businessman and author Patrick McGinnis.
External reasons for FOBO
1. Excess of possibilities
An essential aspect that favors the emergence of FOBO is undoubtedly the fact that we live in a surplus society in which we have the freedom and the luxury to choose between many different options.
2. The lives of millions of others
Another driver of FOBO is – just like with FOMO – the internet, especially social media. Because, with a few clicks and scrolls, we can see what millions of people are up to and what is possible, of course we know a lot more options than we would without the Internet.
Inner reasons for FOBO
However, not all people feel FOBO or we sometimes feel it very differently, that is, the causes of the fear of decision-making can not only be external, but also have to be individual and psychological.
1. Inadequate self-esteem
With many FOBO sufferers, self-confidence certainly plays a major role, more precisely its inadequacy. A person who is not clear about who he is, what he wants, what he can do, what makes him happy, etc., can find it difficult to judge which option is best for him. In addition, he will seek orientation more often by comparing himself with others, although in case of doubt he will only become more torn and confused.
2. distrust of one's own feelings
Especially when it comes to complex decisions, we don't really get very far with our intellect and have to rely on our intuition (you can find out more about this in our article: Brain researcher reveals how you make smart decisions). Those who are very reason-fixated and are more critical of their own emotions will tend to have a hard time and be significantly more susceptible to FOBO than emotional people.
3. Maximization mania
Not only higher, faster, further, but also the highest, fastest, farthest – people with high expectations, ambition and the urge to optimize and maximize are typically predestined to develop FOBO.
Episodes of FOBO
An excessive fear of decision-making can seriously affect our life and, in the worst case, cause it to pass us by – without taking us away. Because, as mentioned at the beginning, we constantly come into situations in everyday life in which we have to make decisions.
FOBO generally prompts those affected to ponder, hesitate and consider which option to choose before making a decision. At pioneering intersections, there is of course nothing to prevent you from thinking carefully. But under the influence of FOBO, this can easily become a habit, i.e. a behavior pattern that we will eventually apply to even small decisions that are disproportionate and waste of energy.
In addition, FOBO usually has the consequence that those affected simply sit out or leave decisions to others because of sheer uncertainty and turmoil. In doing so, they not only give away the chance of finding the best option (whoever chooses "nothing" is guaranteed not to choose the best), but also misses out on a lot of valuable experiences from which they could learn and from which they could grow – and which they could Could give security and sovereignty for future decisions.
What you can do about FOBO
To break down FOBO, it is important to first understand that we cannot make wrong decisions. We act and choose at any point in time within the scope of our possibilities (emotional state, physical condition, wealth of experience, level of information …) as it seems best to us – that is certainly rarely ideal, objectively considered, but always good.
Each of our decisions has consequences that we live with and then come to terms with, which in a certain way determine our future purpose in life. If we don't make any decisions, our life would thin out and empty, if we in turn let others decide for us, we would live in a controlled manner. In the worst case, we learn from a decision that we will choose a different option next time in a similar situation.
The following steps can help reduce FOBO.
1. Learn to be satisfied with "enough"
If something is enough for us, why should we look for something better? Instead of looking at what we lack, we should focus more consciously on the things we have.
2. Build self-confidence
A stable, well-developed self-confidence helps you trust your own inner voice and look less to the left and right to others.
3. Limit social media consumption
Five minutes of Instagram a day is enough to get yourself up to speed. The more time we spend letting ourselves be showered, the more torn, overwhelmed and distracted from our own path we usually become.
You can find more help and background information on FOBO in our articles on how you can boost your self-confidence, understand your feelings, change habits and overcome fears.