At the age of 15, Nina falls in love with Leo, her classmate with Albanian roots. The relationship begins like many teenage romances: without any big plans or thoughts about the future. At this point, Nina is not yet aware that her intercultural relationship will also bring challenges.
While Nina shares everything with her parents and has no secrets, Leo handles things completely differently at home. It is not normal for him to talk to his parents about relationship issues. He says: “In our culture it doesn’t really matter whether the friend is Swiss or Albanian or comes from another culture. We don’t talk about the relationship so early at home.”
Legend:
Nina and Leo met at school and have been a couple for around eight years.
SRF
In addition, “horror stories” about intercultural relationships are often told in Albanian communities.
Most of the time it ends in a separation because merging the two cultures doesn’t work in the end. This is how Leo hides his relationship with Nina from his family for over five years.
Legend:
Nina gets ready for the mosque.
SRF
After five and a half years, Leo is ready: he is sure that Nina is his wife for life and he wants to tell his parents about his relationship. His fear that his parents would not accept the relationship turns out to be unfounded: they immediately respect Nina and welcome her warmly into the entire family.
Nothing can separate us so quickly.
Even if the secret leads to arguments in the first years of the relationship and always causes doubts in the two of them: they stay together and stick to their relationship. Today they say: “Nothing can separate us so quickly.”
“I didn’t convert for him”
Nina grows up in a Swiss household where religion and belief in a God play no role. “Be a good person, be happy, and live your life the way you want,” is the message that Nina’s parents give her.
She describes herself as an atheist: she does not believe in a God and it is clear to her that nothing happens after death. But in a serious crisis of meaning, Nina slowly discovers Islam for herself. It begins with a self-experiment in fasting; she fasts twice with her boyfriend during Ramadan – initially, as she says, to prove that you can also take part in Ramadan as a non-Muslim.
Islam could answer all my questions. We believe in life after death.
But during the fast she feels a spirituality and that she is feeling better and that her depressive thoughts are decreasing. An internal battle of faith begins. After Ramadan, Nina feels worse again; she keeps asking herself what the meaning of life is – the explanation she grew up with no longer satisfies her.
Legend:
Nina wants to clear up prejudices and build bridges between cultures.
SRF
Finally she begins to deal intensively with Islam, reads books and deals with the teachings. After around two years, Nina decides to convert. She says: “Islam was able to answer all my questions. We Muslims believe in life after death.”
Legend:
For her, Nina’s conversion is a matter between herself and God.
SRF
Today she is repeatedly confronted with the accusation that she only converted for her Muslim boyfriend. The 23-year-old firmly rejects this: “I don’t understand why at first you always think that a woman would convert for her husband. I am my own person.”
«I don’t do everything for my friend. This offends me because converting is between God and me. I can’t just pretend to believe in God before God. That way my conversion wouldn’t be accepted at all.”
Leo appreciates that Nina converted to Islam. But that is not a prerequisite for their relationship together. “It was a big step in her life, of her own decision. It’s important to know: Our faith knows no coercion,” says Leo. The couple enjoys sharing their faith and integrating it into their everyday lives.
Conflict with parents
Nina has settled into her new faith and particularly enjoys the community of her friends, whom she meets regularly at the mosque. She doesn’t feel understood by her family because converting to Islam is too much for her parents.
I didn’t want them to suddenly see me differently.
Nina hides her new faith for nine months out of fear of her parents’ reaction. She now admits that it was a mistake and says she won’t do it like that again.
The fear of disappointing my parents was too great for a long time: “I didn’t tell my parents from the start. “I didn’t want them to suddenly see me differently,” she says.
Legend:
Nina’s conversion to Islam tested her relationship with her parents.
SRF
While Nina’s mother initially has a premonition, her father ignores the topic. He says he didn’t want to believe that his daughter might convert. When Nina reveals herself to the two of them, her parents are shocked. The relationship between the three of them is put to the test; for a few months they don’t dare to speak properly about the topic. Today they have become closer again and speak openly about Nina’s new faith.
Her parents accept him and all three of them want to work on breaking down prejudices. Nina’s parents say: “You’re still the same.” The parents are happy as long as Nina is.
A strong community
Nina is a content creator. She is followed by over 130,000 people on Instagram, YouTube and Tiktok. On social media she speaks openly about her faith and her intercultural relationship. About challenges, but also about the beautiful. She wants to use humorous videos to fight against the prejudices she encounters in everyday life.
Like this one, about which she writes: “The first few days I had culture shock and today I do some things exactly the same 😗😂 The ‘flying cut’ or just a cloth on the table – there is nothing more efficient 😂».