Band-aid relationships are rarely healthy, both for you and for the partner with whom you live it. But to be able to deal with them, you must first be able to recognize them. We explain how.
The so-called “band-aid” relationships are often transient love relationships intended, more or less consciously, to heal a heart broken by a recent breakup. They often occur in the months following the end of a long relationship, rather than remaining single, one seeks a form of relief from post-breakup loneliness. These “buffer” relationships may be a temporary relief, but over the longer term, they can also cause a lot of pain for the new partner.
It is sometimes difficult to realize that you are using your relationship as a “band-aid” for your heart. Here are 6 signs that can help you realize this:
- You totally idealize your partner and refuse to see its flaws. In a band-aid relationship, it allows you to ignore the bad and keep only the positive, but it also stops you from loving them for who they really are.
- Your spouse takes second place. If you’re in a band-aid relationship, spending time with your new partner isn’t your priority because you view it, perhaps without realizing it, as a temporary relationship.
- You don’t try to solve your marital problems. Rather than trying to solve the worries that arise in all relationships, you prefer to ignore these conflicts to put them off until later to enjoy the positive, without thinking about it too much. This attitude can then hinder healthy communication between the two spouses.
- You never know how to describe your relationship when your colleagues or friends ask you if you are in a relationship. It may be a sign that you don’t consider this relationship to be very solid.
- You hesitate to present him or her to your friends or family.
- You compare your relationship a lot to those of others. If you put more heart into it than into your relationship, it may be that you are in a bandage relationship.
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How do you deal with a band-aid relationship?
If you think you are indeed in a band-aid relationship, it is necessary to deal with your feelings so as not to hurt your partner, or yourself. First of all, it is important to talk about it quickly with your partner, and to be honest with him or her. Hiding the fact that you haven’t fully recovered from your previous breakup will only make the situation worse. From this moment, several possibilities are available to you. A piece of advice is to set a deadline for making a decision on this situation. : do you want to engage in a serious relationship with your partner, or is it better to leave him or her before hurting him or her?
If you feel the need or don’t know how to act on your own, don’t hesitate to consult a therapist who can help you put your thoughts back in place and make a decision.