According to a study by the University of Arizona, the fear of being abandoned by one or both parents hurts children when a separation occurs.
Ending a marriage or relationship is never easy, whether you're parents or not. When children are involved, and even if our intention is not to involve them in our adult stories, it is clear that they are still impacted by the situation. According to a study from the University of Arizona, in the United States, the impact on children whose parents separate and frequently argue is very real, and especially with regard to the fear of being. abandoned. When there is conflict between the two parents, children face a fear of not seeing one parent again, especially for those who have a strong relationship with their father.
Women are happier than men after a divorce
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To achieve these results, the researchers involved families in transition in a new program. They examined nearly 560 children aged 9 to 18 and asked them about their experiences with conflicts between their parents. Not surprisingly, children whose parents argued felt more stress and anxiety. Even more, a fear of being abandoned was observed in those whose parents argued the most.
Find common ground
Caught in a flood of blame and disagreement among themselves, parents sometimes feel helpless when it comes to communicating with their children. However, talking with them about the situation and explaining the process step by step is the best solution.
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When a child sees his parents arguing, he fears that they will divorce or separate. When they are already separated, he fears the next step: never to see one of his parents again. The University of Arizona study also showed that no matter how "good" parents we are to our children, they will always have this fear within them.
What goes on in a child's mind may seem irrational to adults, but it is no less serious and very serious to younger ones. Separation is never easy and often happens for good reasons. However, even if the children are small at this time, it is very important not to forget to inform them of the different stages and above all, to reassure them about the future of their family. The world they have always known is suddenly collapsing and this contributes to fueling various fears.