Attention, energy vampires! 3 types of people who are not good for us

Attention, energy vampires!
3 types of people who are not good for us

© Westend61 / Getty Images

Afraid of vampires? If not, maybe you should reconsider … because hardly anything costs as many nerves as energy vampires. These three types of people make us particularly weak.

by Marie Stadler

1. The manipulator

Selfless, empathic and a little too good for this world – if the manipulator had to describe himself, he would do it with these three attributes. But behind the Mother Teresa masquerade sits a puppeteer who has a firm grip on his fellow human beings. With skilful blows and small comments about yourself or someone else, the manipulator will make sure that you know exactly what is expected so as not to fall out of favor. A mini-favor here and there also puts you in an uncomfortable position when the manipulator pulls your strings.

Why do we let this be done to us?

The fact that we keep falling for this scam can actually be explained biologically: people are herd animals, in order to ensure our survival, we don’t like to get on the nerves of our herd members and like to help others.

How do you get rid of such people?

You only have two chances: Throw the manipulator out of the herd or (if that doesn’t work because you’re sitting in an office, for example) you realize that biology is not always right. Nowadays: survival is definitely better without energy vampires.

2. The chronically desperate

The chronically desperate fellow human being has no temporary problems. It consists of them, so to speak. In his sad need he always wants advice, refuge and pity from you. The tricky thing about them is that they drag their victims into desperation. Before we know it, we ourselves mutter all the time and feel constantly stressed.

Why do we let this be done to us?

Because it starts so insidiously and we actually like to help. By the time we notice that the desperate person is ALWAYS desperate, we are already in the middle of his problems.

How do you get rid of such people?

Always offering solutions instead of relying on compassion. In the long run you become uninteresting, because the chronically desperate is not looking for solutions.

3. The requester

Demanders know exactly what they want. A good friend has to be one way or the other so that a colleague sacrifices herself for her is a matter of course (just like almost everything that claimants expect) and xy could have offered this and that. A matter of honor. Whether claimants even meet their own requirements is completely irrelevant, because even if they do, it does not make the claims any better. They do not belong to each other because friendship. Love and favors are gifts that should not be expected. What remains after meeting such a person is the bland feeling of not being good enough and of doing everything wrong.

Why do we let this be done to us?

People in need of love are particularly vulnerable. Anyone who took a lot of criticism as a child tries to escape it as an adult. That’s why people shy away from confrontation.

How do you get rid of such people?

Only with a big bang, because demands and demands on the environment are a question of character. Make it clear to yourself that (especially if you are afraid of conflict) your life will be immediately easier without this energy guzzler. You will NEVER satisfy claimants. The more demands you meet, the higher your status will be. This is not good news, because the more important you are to a promoter, the more he expects from you. After all, as the world’s best friend you could well … So you only have one thing to do: pick up your legs and run. The less popular you make yourself, the better.