Through the Netflix show queer eye Germany changed Avi Jakob’s life. As a beauty expert, she not only gives the participants an external look makeoverbut gives self-confidence and helps them on the way to more self-acceptance.
The German version of the American hit format queereye also met with great enthusiasm in Germany and left no dry eye. In an interview with GALA, Avi Jakobs talks about life outside the traditional norm, expectations and why pronouns are more than just words.
David Jakobs in the GALA interview
GALA: You have gained immense reach through Queer Eye Germany and are a role model for so many people. This is often accompanied by certain expectations. Does that put pressure on you?
Avi Jakobs: To be completely honest: Yes, totally. In order to be able to deal with the pressure, I am currently putting a lot of value on meditation, sport and relaxation in general. I am incredibly grateful and very proud of it and am trying to use the outreach to raise awareness and visibility both within and outside of the LGBTQIA+ community.
When was the first moment you realized that you were different from the norm of society at the time?
Outsiders noticed that in kindergarten, I did it myself in elementary school.
How did it feel for you to wear makeup in public for the first time and to be your true self in public?
I started with small steps because headwinds have always hurt me and still do. Sure, a lot less than back then, but even today it doesn’t leave me completely unaffected.
It’s a shame because I feel the most like myself but at the same time know that if I act out publicly I will most likely face ridicule and discrimination.
That’s why there are still days when I don’t have the thick skin to go out wearing make-up or wearing clothes that for many people belong in the “women’s” category.
How do you deal with hostilities in public?
Of course it’s not nice to be attacked for your own nature. But I now see this as an incentive and a daily reminder to keep fighting for an inclusive and non-discriminatory society. Many people can often not do much about how they feel – nobody is completely free of prejudice. But the points of contact are missing to get rid of these prejudices in the long term. That is why we need more dialogue, visibility and education.
Some time has passed since your first outing. Do you think society has learned and become more open?
In any case. An incredible amount has already happened and the right discussions are taking place. But I still think that we are far from having reached an acceptable point. It cannot be that the reality of so many people consists of daily insults. Looking the other way is almost as hurtful – I would sometimes wish for a little more civil courage from our fellow human beings.
You campaign for acceptance and openness on your Instagram channel. Nevertheless, many people have prejudices against people who do not conform to the classic norm. What advice would you give to these people?
We all have prejudices, whether we like it or not, and I think most people have been discriminated against. Remembering how it feels and questioning whether you want to inflict the same pain on other people could be a start. We do not choose which soul is stuffed into which body. In the end, everyone benefits when our society as a whole becomes freer and more tolerant – even the people who don’t see it that way yet.
You have chosen the pronouns she/her and are promoting on social media that people write their pronouns in their profiles. What did this step mean to you and why was it so important to you?
It hasn’t felt right for a long time when someone said “he” to me, and because of the male body in which my soul ended up, I didn’t dare to say it for a long time. At some point, however, the discomfort became so great that I could not help but stand by myself. In recent years, the public discussion of such topics has changed so much that it gave me the necessary security to finally take this step. I think being able to be in charge of your own pronouns today is a huge help for binary and non-binary trans people.
Do you have any tips for people who still lack the courage to express their true self in public?
Small steps and small expectations of yourself. The only person you have to prove anything to is yourself. So aim only as high as feels right for you at the moment and don’t compare yourself to the pace of the Others. You are your own teacher, so be kind and patient with yourself, just as you sometimes wish teachers you’ve met in your life to be.
What do you hope for from Queer Eye Germany?
For one thing, I hope that LGBTQIA+ people will become normal for everyone. Normal means that we become part of the societal norm. We are usual and we are correct.
We are not birds of paradise, but pigeons, like everyone else.
In the format we show that we are there for people who live in a completely different reality than we do and that we can and should all help each other. I think the show shows that we all benefit from allowing many different perspectives. I hope that all viewers can take something for themselves along the way. We are all right the way we are and deserve to listen to ourselves and be nicer to ourselves.